My early Christmas present? Transvestite stalker.

The Internet is a wondrous thing, isn't it? You can meet new people from all over the globe and order just about any old thing that strikes your fancy.

I met my friend Fara many years ago through an old MMORPG (We called them MUDs back then) called Gemstone III. It was a text-based, fantasy role-playing game that consumed WAY too much of my life and, since it was back in the days when Internet access was HOURLY, it also consumed way too much of my MONEY as well.

Fara's a wonderful woman, a fun nerd, mother to some lovely kids, and a big ol' pervert. Of course, she's from San Francisco, where you can throw a rock and hit a dominatrix. Who will then beat you. One time I was out there I tried to make a phone call but got cross-circuited into a conversation between two strippers talking about how one of them had been shagging a certain well known music and television star since she was 15 - apparently the guy is known around town as being a big perv himself. My point is, the whole city is one big hormone factory, so it's not unusual that she's out and about on the "scene."

Anyway, last night I received an email through my homepage from one of her slaves, informing me that they've been ordered to stalk me. One of her trannie slaves. Actually, I don't know if she has multiple slaves, but in any case this one has apparently been assigned to me.

I actually thought it was a very sweet gesture, despite my rather depressing heterosexual status. Though for the life of me I have no idea where I'd put he/r - I barely have room for my new clock radio.