Monday, April 26, 2010

The Problem with Bonding

During a relationship, you develop bonds over certain places and things; maybe you both had a favorite bar, or a street corner where you had a particularly great kiss, or a TV show you enjoyed geeking out over as a couple. People, places and things.

And sadly, when if the relationship ends, these various bonds, rather than sources of familiarity and happy memories, become sad reminders of what once was. With the advent of social networking, these little nudges of the past have increased geometrically.

I'm unfortunately having this situation in spades at the moment. Mutual friends, shared activities and interests all act as little grains of salt in the wound. I've walked this road before, but the thing that is unique and particularly galling this time around is that one of the things I perhaps bonded most with my ex over was FOOD.

Food. I might as well have bonded with her over AIR or WATER. I can't even make breakfast without thinking of the meals we've shared and prepared together. Trips to the market are painful strolls down memory lane and a wild ramps risotto or fiddlehead salad suggested by the waiter only serve to recall her love of seasonal foods. (The risotto was AMAZING, by the way...) As a result, I've only been eating either sparingly or crappily, or both. One meal a day isn't sufficient sustenance, nor is a half gallon of ice cream.

I can only hope to be in better place by next persimmon and quince seasons.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Short excerpt from "Night of a Thousand Exes"

Scene opens on a beer garden in Brooklyn. Man has just arrived from a roller derby bout where he watched an ex-lover from last year cuddling with an ex-friend in the stands, while also seeing his most recent Ex of a week ago's current lover, who is a member of said derby league. This recent Ex is also at the beer garden for the birthday party of a mutual friend. Some brief small talk occurs amongst the group before Man and Ex finally face one another. She stands and speaks...

Ex of one week ago:
How are you doing?

Man shrugs sadly. She gives him a comforting hug and cheek kiss.

Ex of one week ago: (turning immediately to another friend) So this guy was just hitting on me in the line to the bathroom...
Man exits.

And scene.
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