Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Britney Spears Sex Tape

I could care less about this story except for the fact that more porn is being added to the internet, but this quote from Britney's douchebag/ex Adnan Ghalib is hilarious to me:

He [Ghalib] added: “I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney.”

Yes, aside from the tape of you two having sex that you're selling, you're the soul of discretion. What a guy. A real prince.

Aside from that, do we really need to see this guy having sex? Though I suppose he's not anymore broken looking than typical male porn stars. (No offense, male porn stars; long viewer fan, first time hater.)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Wild Pink Mango Berry -or- Frozen Yogurt Still Sucks

The other night I finally succumb to the onslaught of semi-mod frozen yogurt joints that have been popping up all throughout the city. There's Red Mango, Berrywild, Yolato, Flurt, and so forth, but I decided to go to the leader of the pack of Adjective+Fruit yogurt joints and popped into a Pinkberry to get my active cultures on.

In my experience, frozen yogurt has always been a poor substitute for ice cream, and I mean POOR - not middle income, but a homeless, bi-polar, crippled substitute. But people are so CRAZED over these Pinkberry-esque places, I expected something truly unique and surprising. I was wrong.

Their big hook appears to be that their frozen yogurt isn't sweetened or flavored. So, it tastes just like plain yogurt... because it's PLAIN YOGURT!. Of course, then you add fresh fruit, cookies, nuts, chocolate, etc... to the mix, and voila! A healthy and tasty treat!  

Except it's just essentially really cold and hard plain yogurt with fruit. What a frakkin' rip off. Sure, they have coffee and green tea flavors, but they're more TINTED with green and brown than actually flavored -  you still have that sour bite of plain yogurt. And I don't mind the taste of plain yogurt, but it's hardly something I'd ever CRAVE as a treat. The popularity of these places is ridiculously mind-boggling. 

It's like the Emperor's New Yogurt - I just want to shout, "But it just tastes like YOGURT!!!"

Anyway, I'm going to have a pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie now...

Friday, September 12, 2008

Ah, IM Spam...

FakeOnlineGirl: Hey glad u added me..Im Monica.. so u got my email? lol

Me: Uh huh... Monica. Yes indeed. Wasn't sure if you were spam or not. Especially since I never wrote to you...

FakeOnlineGirl: Ya I just got your reply to my ad today. I made that ad not that long ago but u are the only one who replied! aww soo cute thanks babe  I need ur help when I move near ya in a few days!

Me: I see. Tell me more, generalized-response bot?

FakeOnlineGirl: this is bad timing though cause I was just about to sign off of my instant messenger.. Is it possible for u to cum chat me in my chat room baby??

Me: You mean your for pay webcam chat room? SURE!

FakeOnlineGirl: Well ya its free to login of course... I can give u my special link that I only give to my friends since we are meeting up in a few days anyways but DON'T give out the free link to ANYONE ok?? I'm running late WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE

Me: Is it free except for age verification via credit card? Let me just dig one out...

FakeOnlineGirl: Well once u login there then we can chat much easier.. and u can see me on my live HD webcam they sent me  I got it for free HHAHA YAY.. you're pretty laid back, I could have some fun with u .. logged in yet? I'm waiting babe..Im on cam right now (thong and bra ONLY haha).. WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE

Me: Okie dokie!!!

FakeOnlineGirl: HEY.... u gotta promise not to give that link to ur friends lol.. that link is ONLY for my invited guests babe because it's FREE.. right now you're the only one anyways... I just don't see ya in the chat room yet are u on yet?

Me: Oh, don't worry, I'm cumming. Get it? "Cum"-ming? But hold on, first I have to stick a fork in an electrical outlet.

FakeOnlineGirl: K K I gotta get off here..I will speak to u inside my chat room hunny... see ya in a sec.. ps - we can exchange cell phone numbers in there xoxox WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE

Me: Sure thing, dickwad preying on the loneliness of people on the internet! I'll be right there!

FakeOnlineGirl: Auto Response: Just in my cam show now! Julie and I are gonna use a strap on tonight.. YAY.. Click the link to come watch... WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE 

Me: Wh-what? Auto Response? The magic's gone...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Sarah Palin: Ain't Karma Grand?

Palin is a "firm supporter of abstinence-only education in schools" according to CNN in 2006. [109] When running for governor in 2006, Palin wrote, "Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support," in response to a questionnaire by the Eagle Forum Alaska.
And then today's news:
Just days after Gov. Sarah Palin was named as Senator John McCain’s running mate, Ms. Palin made an unlikely announcement of her own on Monday: Her daughter Bristol, 17 and unmarried, was five months pregnant.
Ah karma.

If Bristol is indeed five months pregnant, however, it ruins what was going to be my favorite conspiracy theory of all time: that Sarah Palin's fifth child, Trig, who has Down Syndrome, was in fact her daughter Bristol's child and that Palin pretended to be pregnant. Because if Bristol really IS five months pregnant, it doesn't work as Trig is now 4 months old. 

We'll see if Bristol is mysteriously 2 months late in delivery!

There's a great rundown of this con-theo here at The Daily Kos, a site I don't particularly subscribe to, but I was tickled by this particular allegation.

In the first video in the Daily Kos story, we see Sarah Palin, apparently 5 months pregnant, about to drink a cup of coffee!