Monday, April 26, 2010

The Problem with Bonding

During a relationship, you develop bonds over certain places and things; maybe you both had a favorite bar, or a street corner where you had a particularly great kiss, or a TV show you enjoyed geeking out over as a couple. People, places and things.

And sadly, when if the relationship ends, these various bonds, rather than sources of familiarity and happy memories, become sad reminders of what once was. With the advent of social networking, these little nudges of the past have increased geometrically.

I'm unfortunately having this situation in spades at the moment. Mutual friends, shared activities and interests all act as little grains of salt in the wound. I've walked this road before, but the thing that is unique and particularly galling this time around is that one of the things I perhaps bonded most with my ex over was FOOD.

Food. I might as well have bonded with her over AIR or WATER. I can't even make breakfast without thinking of the meals we've shared and prepared together. Trips to the market are painful strolls down memory lane and a wild ramps risotto or fiddlehead salad suggested by the waiter only serve to recall her love of seasonal foods. (The risotto was AMAZING, by the way...) As a result, I've only been eating either sparingly or crappily, or both. One meal a day isn't sufficient sustenance, nor is a half gallon of ice cream.

I can only hope to be in better place by next persimmon and quince seasons.


AstroGirl said...

Awww :( I know how you feel My ex has ruined all things Monty Python and comic bookery .... yeah lets go with that as a word.

All I'm saying is you can't let the she beast...
(as i choose to picture her cuz why would any self respecting girl not want you?!?!)
... ruin the things you love ... especially if it results in your malnutrition.

Just think of this as a way to indulge in cuisine that you two never enjoyed together... nutritions cuisine! various types of ice cream and junk food don't count :P

Thoraiya said...

Allow me to suggest some things I'm pretty sure you never shared together:

Tabbouleh with pineapple instead of tomato

Mee Goreng stuffed inside a baguette

Beef jerky and gherkin sandwich with no bread; just use the jerky as bread.

Raw quinces sliced into chips and dipped in caramel sauce

Frozen peas in an ice cream cone

Spaghetti bolognaise with shredded chinese cabbage instead of pasta


And I hope you feel better soon.


This comment has nothing to do with this post but hey ho.

Many moons ago you wrote: As I was extracting rock the size of soccer balls from my backyard yesterday, I heard a small clink as the shovel sunk into the dirt. Like a caveman, I chose to keep poking at it with the steel shovel for another minute rather than just reach down and see what it was.

Bizarrely - exactly the same thing happened to be in Reading, Berkshire, England last weekend - a cobolt blue - Bromo Seltzer bottle from Emerson Drug Company.