Friday, September 19, 2008

Wild Pink Mango Berry -or- Frozen Yogurt Still Sucks

The other night I finally succumb to the onslaught of semi-mod frozen yogurt joints that have been popping up all throughout the city. There's Red Mango, Berrywild, Yolato, Flurt, and so forth, but I decided to go to the leader of the pack of Adjective+Fruit yogurt joints and popped into a Pinkberry to get my active cultures on.

In my experience, frozen yogurt has always been a poor substitute for ice cream, and I mean POOR - not middle income, but a homeless, bi-polar, crippled substitute. But people are so CRAZED over these Pinkberry-esque places, I expected something truly unique and surprising. I was wrong.

Their big hook appears to be that their frozen yogurt isn't sweetened or flavored. So, it tastes just like plain yogurt... because it's PLAIN YOGURT!. Of course, then you add fresh fruit, cookies, nuts, chocolate, etc... to the mix, and voila! A healthy and tasty treat!  

Except it's just essentially really cold and hard plain yogurt with fruit. What a frakkin' rip off. Sure, they have coffee and green tea flavors, but they're more TINTED with green and brown than actually flavored -  you still have that sour bite of plain yogurt. And I don't mind the taste of plain yogurt, but it's hardly something I'd ever CRAVE as a treat. The popularity of these places is ridiculously mind-boggling. 

It's like the Emperor's New Yogurt - I just want to shout, "But it just tastes like YOGURT!!!"

Anyway, I'm going to have a pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie now...


sofistiphunk said...

I think you've given frozen yogurt more than its fair share of chances. Quit buying it silly.

Rocky Nguyen said...

I've never had pinkberry before. I do love the Vietnamese style plain yogurt though. Mmm...

shiselarrow said...

In my country we don't know it as a for sale-product itself. We just mix all that things at home...we call it "no money for icecream...this should work out!!!"
Believe me, it doesn't work's the same all round the world I guess.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I want my icecream NOW!!!!!

Larry said...

Look, Shy,'s all government mind control ya schmuck! Are you kidding me? Why the hell else would so many people spoon up so much caca that tastes amzingly similar to sheetrock spackling? In fact, you probably can use unflavored yogurt as sheetrock spackling. Not that I have ever actually tried. I have little people to tend to such things for me.

My advice; quit going to these yogurt dumps. If you don't, you'll have an apartment full of government G-men, not G-women Shy m'boy but G-men....big, ugly, gun-toting, grey suit wearing, Eliot Ness looking gubment G-men.....yikes and egads! Ya don't want that, do ya? (or is it Elliot?)

Always glad I can help out,,,,Boob-a-la !!!