Ah, IM Spam...

FakeOnlineGirl: Hey glad u added me..Im Monica.. so u got my email? lol

Me: Uh huh... Monica. Yes indeed. Wasn't sure if you were spam or not. Especially since I never wrote to you...

FakeOnlineGirl: Ya I just got your reply to my ad today. I made that ad not that long ago but u are the only one who replied! aww soo cute thanks babe  I need ur help when I move near ya in a few days!

Me: I see. Tell me more, generalized-response bot?

FakeOnlineGirl: this is bad timing though cause I was just about to sign off of my instant messenger.. Is it possible for u to cum chat me in my chat room baby??

Me: You mean your for pay webcam chat room? SURE!

FakeOnlineGirl: Well ya its free to login of course... I can give u my special link that I only give to my friends since we are meeting up in a few days anyways but DON'T give out the free link to ANYONE ok?? I'm running late WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE

Me: Is it free except for age verification via credit card? Let me just dig one out...

FakeOnlineGirl: Well once u login there then we can chat much easier.. and u can see me on my live HD webcam they sent me  I got it for free HHAHA YAY.. you're pretty laid back, I could have some fun with u .. logged in yet? I'm waiting babe..Im on cam right now (thong and bra ONLY haha).. WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE

Me: Okie dokie!!!

FakeOnlineGirl: HEY.... u gotta promise not to give that link to ur friends lol.. that link is ONLY for my invited guests babe because it's FREE.. right now you're the only one anyways... I just don't see ya in the chat room yet are u on yet?

Me: Oh, don't worry, I'm cumming. Get it? "Cum"-ming? But hold on, first I have to stick a fork in an electrical outlet.

FakeOnlineGirl: K K I gotta get off here..I will speak to u inside my chat room hunny... see ya in a sec.. ps - we can exchange cell phone numbers in there xoxox WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE

Me: Sure thing, dickwad preying on the loneliness of people on the internet! I'll be right there!

FakeOnlineGirl: Auto Response: Just in my cam show now! Julie and I are gonna use a strap on tonight.. YAY.. Click the link to come watch... WEBCAM ADDRESS HERE 

Me: Wh-what? Auto Response? The magic's gone...