One of the last bits of legal private sector fireworks left in New York, along with the sparkler, is the Party Popper. You know these things, they make a little bang and confetti and streamers come shooting out. Wheeee!Except these Chinatown ones are DEAFENING! They had two kinds, a giant one that barely made a peep, and these tiny ones, that sounded like someone had just lit a firecracker and shoved it directly in your ear. This we discovered at an 8-year old's birthday party, through the process of destroying the eardrums of little children and adults alike.
Today was spent shopping around for more audio recording equipment and advice, all of which ended up being useless. An annoyingly persistent, high-pitched whine is still appearing on my recordings, despite the array of fancy new technology I've surrounded myself with. It will work out eventually, one hopes.
Something I forgot to mention yesterday: while passing through the Times Square subway station, I glanced at the huge array of posters for NBC's upcoming sweeps month mid-season offering, Smash. And lo and behold there, right between Deborah Messing and Katherine McPhee, was a giant poster with my best friend from high school, Christian Borle.
A little background on my friend Christian, and also my crew from high school. We became fast friends sophomore year and stayed as such through about midway through my senior year, when my life began unraveling and most people around me with common sense backed away. He was always ridiculously talented, along with most of my friends there. Christian went on to star in Broadway plays, being nominated for a Tony award and even being married briefly to Broadway star Sutton Foster. He's done well for himself. Another of my good friends from high school is Tunde Adebimpe, lead singer of the critically acclaimed band, TV on the Radio. Pretty much all of my high school friends are now successful doctors, authors, artists, and so forth. So, yes, the alumni newsletter is a little ridiculous.
I may have blogged about this before, but in case I hadn't, I always have mixed feelings when I see Christian or Tunde or my other classmates in high-profile projects. One of those feelings is pride and happiness for them - it's really great to see that talent and hard work actually can pay off.
The other feeling however, isn't what you might expect - it's not jealousy or bitterness towards my old friends. It's mostly a mixture of regret and shame that I've wasted the promise and potential of my youth. Granted, I'm not dead yet, but... I'm certainly not where I probably should be. And that's a shame. Because the opportunities and gifts I've been blessed with are not ones that should have been treated so casually, and I'm a ungrateful bastard for squandering them.
Such is life... and at least it's not quite over yet. Hopefully, someday, I'll accomplish something to make those I was once so close to smile and be equally proud of me.
1 comment:
I think you're measuring "where you should be" a bit harshly. Where you should be is wherever you are happiest. And if you hit your fame and fortune career at 50, it won't be too soon or too late. In fact, it may be better given the grace, maturity, and skills you'll have acquired that enable you to deal with it in the best way possible.
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