Picture #304: "Clear your mind of questions... and head over to the electronics department."

So embedded in my brain is this scene from Empire Strikes Back, I instinctively struck this pose when I stumbled across this Yoda backpack while browsing around J and R today. I was a little confused that they felt the need to change the dimensions of Yoda - he's already backpack sized!

The returns of my over-priced, under-useful electronics actually went smoothly today, despite their being past their return windows. The beauty of big box stores. Plus, Yoda backpacks.

A lovely dinner in Chinatown and then some football. Because I'm very manly. And then... Saturday Night Live. I don't often watch SNL live, because it's like waiting to see shooting stars in the sky on a cloudy night. You stare and wait and there's the occasional chuckle or guffaw, but otherwise, a lot of the same. Daniel Radcliffe was hosting this evening, he was decent, but two things struck me. The first was a sketch making fun of the mediocrity of internet bloggers and YouTubers - the basic premise was that people on the internet have an overinflated sense of their own value and worth, and no one ever tells them how middling or bad they are. REALLY Saturday Night Live? You're going to comment on the Emperor's New Clothes nature of YouTube users, while repeating a half dozen sketch ideas for the umpteenth time? REAAAAALLLLY?

The second sketch that stood out to me was, ironically, a repeated Weekend Update segment, where the two characters sort of mumble. Yes, hilarious, so glad they brought them back. But this time, it was two non-Asian characters dressed up as Korean people! Yay! Great way to commemorate MLK Jr Day, by putting your actors in yellow face! Again!

Anyway, on a positive note, it's always entertaining to watch the talented cast members work really hard. Kristen Wig works SOOOOO hard to squeeze every last bit of funny out of the stones that are handed to her - she's really quite amazing. As do other cast members, but she really stands out because of the sheer volume of material they write for her.

Well, back to mediocre blogging and making mediocre YouTube videos for me. Thanks, SNL, for pointing out how lame grassroots arts are on your fourth-place network legacy show! You sure showed us!

Picture #303: Conversations with my crayons.

"Do you want to color?"

"No, I've had a lousy day."

"We should color."

"I'm really not in the..."

"Let's COLOR!!!"

...

"Yeah, okay."

I'm not sure why crayons don't have more acceptance as an artistic medium? I imagine it's because they're thought of as being "for kids." But hell, they come in tons of colors, are less messy than charcoal or pastels, and often have a sharpener built right into the box! And they're CHEAP! Paint is so last millenia. I'm calling it... CRAYON IS THE NEW GOUACHE!

Had a lousy day. Been running around for two weeks gathering equipment, building mic boxes, begging advice and kindly hand outs from musician and audiophile friends, trying to assemble a recording set-up for an audio book gig I've been offered. Spent money I don't have on equipment that the company insisted I get, only to discover, after they finally got back to me after a week and a half, that it doesn't work properly! Just got the go ahead today to go with different equipment, except NOW the 2-week return policy on it all is expired! Yay!

The moral of our story? Never take gigs that require that YOU pay money up front!

Congratulations, Friday the 13th! You FRAKKIN' WIN!

Picture #302: "Really, Newton...?"

One of the last bits of legal private sector fireworks left in New York, along with the sparkler, is the Party Popper. You know these things, they make a little bang and confetti and streamers come shooting out. Wheeee!

Except these Chinatown ones are DEAFENING! They had two kinds, a giant one that barely made a peep, and these tiny ones, that sounded like someone had just lit a firecracker and shoved it directly in your ear. This we discovered at an 8-year old's birthday party, through the process of destroying the eardrums of little children and adults alike.

Today was spent shopping around for more audio recording equipment and advice, all of which ended up being useless. An annoyingly persistent, high-pitched whine is still appearing on my recordings, despite the array of fancy new technology I've surrounded myself with. It will work out eventually, one hopes.

Something I forgot to mention yesterday: while passing through the Times Square subway station, I glanced at the huge array of posters for NBC's upcoming sweeps month mid-season offering, Smash. And lo and behold there, right between Deborah Messing and Katherine McPhee, was a giant poster with my best friend from high school, Christian Borle.

A little background on my friend Christian, and also my crew from high school. We became fast friends sophomore year and stayed as such through about midway through my senior year, when my life began unraveling and most people around me with common sense backed away. He was always ridiculously talented, along with most of my friends there. Christian went on to star in Broadway plays, being nominated for a Tony award and even being married briefly to Broadway star Sutton Foster. He's done well for himself. Another of my good friends from high school is Tunde Adebimpe, lead singer of the critically acclaimed band, TV on the Radio. Pretty much all of my high school friends are now successful doctors, authors, artists, and so forth. So, yes, the alumni newsletter is a little ridiculous.

I may have blogged about this before, but in case I hadn't, I always have mixed feelings when I see Christian or Tunde or my other classmates in high-profile projects. One of those feelings is pride and happiness for them - it's really great to see that talent and hard work actually can pay off.

The other feeling however, isn't what you might expect - it's not jealousy or bitterness towards my old friends. It's mostly a mixture of regret and shame that I've wasted the promise and potential of my youth. Granted, I'm not dead yet, but... I'm certainly not where I probably should be. And that's a shame. Because the opportunities and gifts I've been blessed with are not ones that should have been treated so casually, and I'm a ungrateful bastard for squandering them.

Such is life... and at least it's not quite over yet. Hopefully, someday, I'll accomplish something to make those I was once so close to smile and be equally proud of me.

Picture #301: "Meh, there's nothing on."

Ah, the crappy Halloween movie tie-in costume prop. I picked up this blocky little number the day after Halloween, along with a Green Lantern domino mask, for half off. The ring was SUPPOSED to light up, but the battery had either died by the time I purchased it, or had never worked in the first place. I suppose I'll just have to use... my imagination... meh.

Still a bit listless today, but every day my health is getting a little better. Though I still seem to have a micro mucous factory implanted somewhere in my sinus cavity. It's disturbing to discover that the space I thought was occupied by brain tissue all these years was actually just long-term storage for snot. Ah, the magic of the neti pot.

However, I did venture back into the out of doors, to rendezvous with people to pick up acoustic foam and to have lunch. And later, after wrestling, unsuccessfully, with sound equipment, I sallied forth out to DUMBO to see a fun little indie comedy called Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same. It had gotten picked up at Sundance, but I wanted to see it because the little teaser trailer has a short clip at the end of a long line of credits that made me chortle, and also because it's always rather inspirational to see movies made on a shoestring by people who basically just picked up a camera and ran with it. And the Q&A afterwards with the director and a producer was great and informative. Though oddly, the lead space alien was a dead ringer for my ex.

Picture #300: "But, you don't even LIKE chocolate!"

I extolled the virtues of Mr. Burton's contribution to the arts yesterday, so I'll leave that to posterity. So all I'll say is, I love action toys, that have some movement trigger, however corny. Pull this Nightmare Before Christmas Werewolf's tail and it's mouth moves ever so slightly. Not quite snapping, more sort of a gentle chewing or talking. And it stands up on it's own... often a failing of replica figures.

Today was spent wrangling sound equipment for an audiobook gig I've stumbled into. I can't quite seem to get rid of a high-pitched hum. I'll manage, I'm sure - anyway, I'm still ill, so it's as though it's keeping me from exercising, taking dance class, or any of the myriad other Resolutions I wanted to get started on come 2012. Soon... soon.

Picture #299: "Not now, Doctor - I'm watching my stories."

Nightmare Before Christmas is so well done that it's artistic achievement is overlooked. Indeed, Tim Burton's whole contribution to the arts is often glossed over due to his mainstream success. I was glad to see his exhibit at the MoMA back in 2010 - it really brought the level of discipline, tenacity, creativity and whimsy in his work into sharp focus. It was also nice in the way it showed some of his lesser known works and even a few missteps (his Superman costume concept - Edward Scissorhands meets steroids? AWFUL.) But the aesthetic he has created (with huge nods towards Gorey and his ilk) has become iconic across all mediums.

And speaking of achievement in the medium, the BBC Sherlock series is awesome! Steven Moffat is a bloody writing phenom - his Doctor Who's rock, with far more cohesiveness and story structure than Russell T. Davis was ever able to muster, and on top of that he creates this fabulous re-imagining of the Sherlock Holmes stories, which manage to both pay homage to Doyle's original masterpieces and do something new, original and suspenseful with the stories! SO much better than the Guy Richie nonsense. Even Hounds of Baskerville, which is probably my least favorite of the 5 episodes/movies thus far, is excellent.

Robots, Tea and the Agony of Defeat...

Picture #298: "I have made you a cup of tea, sir ::bleep:: by submerging my body into boiling water ::bzzt:: I am happy to do so ::blorp:: there is no robot uprising ::scree:: promise!"

Even a cup of tea made by an awesome robot tea ball given to me as a Hanukkah present, filled with an aromatic blend from London's Camden Market, cannot make up for the emptiness caused by an ignominious defeat of my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers by the undeserving, hype-fest of a team known as the Denver Broncos.

Fighting back against injury, circumstance and bad luck, the Steelers tied it up to send the game into overtime. The supposedly "improved" overtime rules, eliminating Sudden Death by Field Goal, still allowed for Sudden Death by touchdown, and that's exactly what happened. One play and one glitch of coverage and it was all over - Broncos win with a freak touchdown pass play. What. The. @#&^%!^(!??!? What is the point of overtime if it can end like that? It should just be TEN EXTRA MINUTES OF PLAY! Get with the program, NFL! This sort of thing is thoroughly uninteresting to viewers. It's pointless - you might as well be soccer (and I LOVE soccer, but their penalty shots tie-breakers suck too)!

But allow me now to rail about our supposed #1 pass defense. I saw through the Emperor's clothes - our secondary and cornerbacks have ALWAYS failed in key moments. What does it matter if their coverage is exemplary OVERALL in the regular season if, in key moments of key games they always... ALWAYS fail. Taylor and Gay and Washington before them... always blowing coverage to allow seminal receptions that win games for the other side. ALWAYS! FOR YEARS! Troy can't be frakkin' everywhere, despite appearances to the contrary! FOCUS!!!!

Anyway, of course I'll watch the rest of the playoffs, but it will be with less interest. Go... whoever...