Shyablog

Picture #310: "He knew he shouldn't..."

2012-01-20T21:59:00.004-05:00

I was never actually a fan of bendy toys growing up, primarily for the reason that they generally can't stand on their own. The movement and pose-ability of action figures were always of great concern to me as a kid - I could never quite fathom why toy manufacturers chose to make figures which couldn't bend at the knees, raise their arms to the side, or even simply stand up or sit down. The G.I. Joe figures of the 80's were the ideal for my money - full joint articulation and they could (mostly) stand up. Of course, in reality, I never actually had that many action figures of any sort - my parents weren't big purchasers of toys; lots of socks and sweaters for holidays from my mom and from my dad... not much at all, actually.

All that said, Jack Skellington here is pretty cool for a bendy toy.

Today, I went back to Bikram Yoga for the first time in a long while. Actually, it was technically just "hot yoga" at Yoga to the People, since they're not officially licensed. Bikram Choudhury was never able to actually copyright his posture sequence, just the dialogue associated with it, but who needs specific dialogue? It just felt great to move through the practice again.

Afterwards, feeling looser and more relaxed than I have in ages, I went to catch a 1920's hot jazz band called The Hot Sardines at the rooftop bar of The Standard Hotel in the Meatpacking District. I generally hate the "scene" in the Meatpacking area now, mostly because of the shallow excess of it all, and partially because I can't afford any shallow excess. But there wasn't a cover and I'd caught the band playing on the subway platform before and knew how great they were, so I was happy to go stand at the bar and listen to them be awesome. I mean, they have a tap dancer as one of the musicians - what's not to like? Plus, the view from the Standard rooftop bar is nothing short of spectacular, and the bar itself, well... take a look.

Picture #309: "Hit cancel! HIT CANCEL!"

2012-01-19T23:59:00.002-05:00

The Big Trak was an impressive toy from the 70's/80's; a programmable, 6-wheeled ATV tank with a "laser," and an optional trailer/dump truck. Just tap in the commands and it would roll out and execute your orders. I never had one as a kid, but a few friends did and I always thought it was just fantastic.

Well, now some enterprising and clever geeks have recreated this bit of awesomeness in a smaller, compact form: The Big Trak, Jr. The folks over at Think Geek are great about this sort of thing. And, awesomely, my roommate got one! Mwuahahahahaa!

Went to a children's after-school recital today; in the piano portion the kids were using roll-up keyboards. I remember the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Picard was playing a duet with a pianist who brought a portable roll-up piano, and he was simply amazed at the technology. Futurism is a wonderful thing. My iPhone is a tricorder, and kids are playing on musical instruments from the 23rd century. Fantastic!

Picture #308: You HAVE to check this thing out!

2012-01-18T13:05:00.003-05:00

https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/SOPA/Blackoutpage

Picture #307: "Giraffe? No... I said, penguin. Got it? PEN. GUIN."

2012-01-17T23:59:00.002-05:00

During most of my performance arts life, I'd always wanted to do something with puppets. I was and am a huge fan of Jim Henson growing up, and in college I was exposed to the work of Julie Taymor and others (before her blockbuster turns with Lion King and Spider-Man), so always thought it would tremendously rewarding and fun. However, puppeteering is something you really have to have a hunger and a passion for - you can't, as a performer, really just DABBLE in puppetry. At least that's my impression. It'd be like a medical doctor who is a general practitioner just dabbling in neuro-surgery. There's a very specialized set of skills that you need to train in for years to be able to perform with any real quality. Fortunately, I do actually believe those skills can be developed independently, by just watching, practicing, watching some more and practicing some more - so there's no need for a $50,000/year puppetry college, thank goodness.

I went to my ballroom dancing class for the first time since taking ill and it was great. I recently watched a video of myself dancing and was appalled - I hate watching myself; I felt I looked just plain goofy. I'm assured by others that I'm not, but now I have this self-image of myself looking akin to a long-haired troll shuffling around in a dance studio stuck in my brain. It doesn't matter though, I enjoy the dancing thoroughly enough that I don't care. It really is the key to life - not letting the judgement of others, and particularly your own self-judgment, keep you from trying things you want to try.

Picture #306: "You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!"

2012-01-16T23:59:00.001-05:00

And... it's a pen!

Picture #305: "No, I can still see you."

2012-01-15T23:59:00.001-05:00

They had these fairly awesome cephalopod magnets at my local 99-cent bargain store. So, naturally, I had to get them. Why? Because of this:

Uneventful Sunday, mostly spent watching football and the Golden Globes. On the football, the Texans failed to defeat the Steelers' arch-nemesiseses the Baltimore Ravens. Congrats Ravens, you defeated a team on their third-string quarterback - I'm sure you'll do fine against three-time Superbowl champion Tom Brady and the Patriots. And the Packers proved what a dangerous canard the buy week can be - unless your team is riddled with injuries, taking a week off just kills your momentum. And thus, the myth of Eli Manning's worth is perpetuated for another Playoff, putting him amongst the ranks of other overrated QB's such as Mark Sanchez and Mark Sanchez.

On the Golden Globes front, I was looking forward to Ricky Gervais hosting but it turns out it was just a stunt. His screen time was severely reduced from last year and he was clearly forced to tone it down - his monologue and interludes were annoying self-effacing disappointingly tame. Ironic, as he mocked the guidelines NBC gave him. So glad he went easy on the rich, beautiful, famous people... it was well worth the 3-hours of boredom.

Picture #304: "Clear your mind of questions... and head over to the electronics department."

2012-01-14T23:59:00.003-05:00

So embedded in my brain is this scene from Empire Strikes Back, I instinctively struck this pose when I stumbled across this Yoda backpack while browsing around J and R today. I was a little confused that they felt the need to change the dimensions of Yoda - he's already backpack sized!

The returns of my over-priced, under-useful electronics actually went smoothly today, despite their being past their return windows. The beauty of big box stores. Plus, Yoda backpacks.

A lovely dinner in Chinatown and then some football. Because I'm very manly. And then... Saturday Night Live. I don't often watch SNL live, because it's like waiting to see shooting stars in the sky on a cloudy night. You stare and wait and there's the occasional chuckle or guffaw, but otherwise, a lot of the same. Daniel Radcliffe was hosting this evening, he was decent, but two things struck me. The first was a sketch making fun of the mediocrity of internet bloggers and YouTubers - the basic premise was that people on the internet have an overinflated sense of their own value and worth, and no one ever tells them how middling or bad they are. REALLY Saturday Night Live? You're going to comment on the Emperor's New Clothes nature of YouTube users, while repeating a half dozen sketch ideas for the umpteenth time? REAAAAALLLLY?

The second sketch that stood out to me was, ironically, a repeated Weekend Update segment, where the two characters sort of mumble. Yes, hilarious, so glad they brought them back. But this time, it was two non-Asian characters dressed up as Korean people! Yay! Great way to commemorate MLK Jr Day, by putting your actors in yellow face! Again!

Anyway, on a positive note, it's always entertaining to watch the talented cast members work really hard. Kristen Wig works SOOOOO hard to squeeze every last bit of funny out of the stones that are handed to her - she's really quite amazing. As do other cast members, but she really stands out because of the sheer volume of material they write for her.

Well, back to mediocre blogging and making mediocre YouTube videos for me. Thanks, SNL, for pointing out how lame grassroots arts are on your fourth-place network legacy show! You sure showed us!

Picture #303: Conversations with my crayons.

2012-01-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

"Do you want to color?"
"No, I've had a lousy day."
"We should color."
"I'm really not in the..."
"Let's COLOR!!!"
...

"Yeah, okay."

I'm not sure why crayons don't have more acceptance as an artistic medium? I imagine it's because they're thought of as being "for kids." But hell, they come in tons of colors, are less messy than charcoal or pastels, and often have a sharpener built right into the box! And they're CHEAP! Paint is so last millenia. I'm calling it... CRAYON IS THE NEW GOUACHE!

Had a lousy day. Been running around for two weeks gathering equipment, building mic boxes, begging advice and kindly hand outs from musician and audiophile friends, trying to assemble a recording set-up for an audio book gig I've been offered. Spent money I don't have on equipment that the company insisted I get, only to discover, after they finally got back to me after a week and a half, that it doesn't work properly! Just got the go ahead today to go with different equipment, except NOW the 2-week return policy on it all is expired! Yay!

The moral of our story? Never take gigs that require that YOU pay money up front!

Congratulations, Friday the 13th! You FRAKKIN' WIN!

Picture #302: "Really, Newton...?"

2012-01-12T23:38:00.007-05:00

One of the last bits of legal private sector fireworks left in New York, along with the sparkler, is the Party Popper. You know these things, they make a little bang and confetti and streamers come shooting out. Wheeee!

Except these Chinatown ones are DEAFENING! They had two kinds, a giant one that barely made a peep, and these tiny ones, that sounded like someone had just lit a firecracker and shoved it directly in your ear. This we discovered at an 8-year old's birthday party, through the process of destroying the eardrums of little children and adults alike.

Today was spent shopping around for more audio recording equipment and advice, all of which ended up being useless. An annoyingly persistent, high-pitched whine is still appearing on my recordings, despite the array of fancy new technology I've surrounded myself with. It will work out eventually, one hopes.

Something I forgot to mention yesterday: while passing through the Times Square subway station, I glanced at the huge array of posters for NBC's upcoming sweeps month mid-season offering, Smash. And lo and behold there, right between Deborah Messing and Katherine McPhee, was a giant poster with my best friend from high school, Christian Borle.

A little background on my friend Christian, and also my crew from high school. We became fast friends sophomore year and stayed as such through about midway through my senior year, when my life began unraveling and most people around me with common sense backed away. He was always ridiculously talented, along with most of my friends there. Christian went on to star in Broadway plays, being nominated for a Tony award and even being married briefly to Broadway star Sutton Foster. He's done well for himself. Another of my good friends from high school is Tunde Adebimpe, lead singer of the critically acclaimed band, TV on the Radio. Pretty much all of my high school friends are now successful doctors, authors, artists, and so forth. So, yes, the alumni newsletter is a little ridiculous.

I may have blogged about this before, but in case I hadn't, I always have mixed feelings when I see Christian or Tunde or my other classmates in high-profile projects. One of those feelings is pride and happiness for them - it's really great to see that talent and hard work actually can pay off.

The other feeling however, isn't what you might expect - it's not jealousy or bitterness towards my old friends. It's mostly a mixture of regret and shame that I've wasted the promise and potential of my youth. Granted, I'm not dead yet, but... I'm certainly not where I probably should be. And that's a shame. Because the opportunities and gifts I've been blessed with are not ones that should have been treated so casually, and I'm a ungrateful bastard for squandering them.

Such is life... and at least it's not quite over yet. Hopefully, someday, I'll accomplish something to make those I was once so close to smile and be equally proud of me.

Picture #301: "Meh, there's nothing on."

2012-01-11T23:23:00.002-05:00

Ah, the crappy Halloween movie tie-in costume prop. I picked up this blocky little number the day after Halloween, along with a Green Lantern domino mask, for half off. The ring was SUPPOSED to light up, but the battery had either died by the time I purchased it, or had never worked in the first place. I suppose I'll just have to use... my imagination... meh.

Still a bit listless today, but every day my health is getting a little better. Though I still seem to have a micro mucous factory implanted somewhere in my sinus cavity. It's disturbing to discover that the space I thought was occupied by brain tissue all these years was actually just long-term storage for snot. Ah, the magic of the neti pot.

However, I did venture back into the out of doors, to rendezvous with people to pick up acoustic foam and to have lunch. And later, after wrestling, unsuccessfully, with sound equipment, I sallied forth out to DUMBO to see a fun little indie comedy called Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same. It had gotten picked up at Sundance, but I wanted to see it because the little teaser trailer has a short clip at the end of a long line of credits that made me chortle, and also because it's always rather inspirational to see movies made on a shoestring by people who basically just picked up a camera and ran with it. And the Q&A afterwards with the director and a producer was great and informative. Though oddly, the lead space alien was a dead ringer for my ex.

Picture #300: "But, you don't even LIKE chocolate!"

2012-01-10T23:55:00.003-05:00

I extolled the virtues of Mr. Burton's contribution to the arts yesterday, so I'll leave that to posterity. So all I'll say is, I love action toys, that have some movement trigger, however corny. Pull this Nightmare Before Christmas Werewolf's tail and it's mouth moves ever so slightly. Not quite snapping, more sort of a gentle chewing or talking. And it stands up on it's own... often a failing of replica figures.

Today was spent wrangling sound equipment for an audiobook gig I've stumbled into. I can't quite seem to get rid of a high-pitched hum. I'll manage, I'm sure - anyway, I'm still ill, so it's as though it's keeping me from exercising, taking dance class, or any of the myriad other Resolutions I wanted to get started on come 2012. Soon... soon.

Picture #299: "Not now, Doctor - I'm watching my stories."

2012-01-09T23:17:00.003-05:00

Nightmare Before Christmas is so well done that it's artistic achievement is overlooked. Indeed, Tim Burton's whole contribution to the arts is often glossed over due to his mainstream success. I was glad to see his exhibit at the MoMA back in 2010 - it really brought the level of discipline, tenacity, creativity and whimsy in his work into sharp focus. It was also nice in the way it showed some of his lesser known works and even a few missteps (his Superman costume concept - Edward Scissorhands meets steroids? AWFUL.) But the aesthetic he has created (with huge nods towards Gorey and his ilk) has become iconic across all mediums.

And speaking of achievement in the medium, the BBC Sherlock series is awesome! Steven Moffat is a bloody writing phenom - his Doctor Who's rock, with far more cohesiveness and story structure than Russell T. Davis was ever able to muster, and on top of that he creates this fabulous re-imagining of the Sherlock Holmes stories, which manage to both pay homage to Doyle's original masterpieces and do something new, original and suspenseful with the stories! SO much better than the Guy Richie nonsense. Even Hounds of Baskerville, which is probably my least favorite of the 5 episodes/movies thus far, is excellent.

Robots, Tea and the Agony of Defeat...

2012-01-08T23:59:00.003-05:00

Picture #298: "I have made you a cup of tea, sir ::bleep:: by submerging my body into boiling water ::bzzt:: I am happy to do so ::blorp:: there is no robot uprising ::scree:: promise!"

Even a cup of tea made by an awesome robot tea ball given to me as a Hanukkah present, filled with an aromatic blend from London's Camden Market, cannot make up for the emptiness caused by an ignominious defeat of my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers by the undeserving, hype-fest of a team known as the Denver Broncos.

Fighting back against injury, circumstance and bad luck, the Steelers tied it up to send the game into overtime. The supposedly "improved" overtime rules, eliminating Sudden Death by Field Goal, still allowed for Sudden Death by touchdown, and that's exactly what happened. One play and one glitch of coverage and it was all over - Broncos win with a freak touchdown pass play. What. The. @#&^%!^(!??!? What is the point of overtime if it can end like that? It should just be TEN EXTRA MINUTES OF PLAY! Get with the program, NFL! This sort of thing is thoroughly uninteresting to viewers. It's pointless - you might as well be soccer (and I LOVE soccer, but their penalty shots tie-breakers suck too)!

But allow me now to rail about our supposed #1 pass defense. I saw through the Emperor's clothes - our secondary and cornerbacks have ALWAYS failed in key moments. What does it matter if their coverage is exemplary OVERALL in the regular season if, in key moments of key games they always... ALWAYS fail. Taylor and Gay and Washington before them... always blowing coverage to allow seminal receptions that win games for the other side. ALWAYS! FOR YEARS! Troy can't be frakkin' everywhere, despite appearances to the contrary! FOCUS!!!!

Anyway, of course I'll watch the rest of the playoffs, but it will be with less interest. Go... whoever...

Picture #297: "I cook, YOU wash!"

2012-01-07T23:59:00.001-05:00

It's a little sad that Oshkosh B'Gosh products are no longer made in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. This little fella? Mexicano. Still, he's very cuddly, when not trying to skip out on dish washing duties.

Today in NYC was GORGEOUS. And I was finally mobile enough to get out of doors during the daylight hours. Walked around Chinatown, enjoying the eats and treats to be had there (have I written about the glorious roast pork buns of Mei Lei Wah before?) Watched the various amateur Chinese opera groups performing in the park, as well as the tai chi practitioners in the pavillion going through their exercises. Explored some shops I hadn't seen in a while, delved into some shops I'd never been into. Grabbed some bok choy and mushrooms for dinner and then home to settle into some good ol' post-season football.

Nice day.

Picture #296: "I once caught a Venger THIS big!"

2012-01-06T23:59:00.000-05:00

The 80's cartoon Dungeons and Dragons, while not particularly well-animated or written, was wildly entertaining for me as a youth. Seeing the creatures and the items of a game that I was quite fond of being (sort of) brought to life was greatly engrossing, and I spent many hours daydreaming about what I would do with a magic bow, staff or hat if I were in their position, whisked off to a magical land of danger and adventure. And just HANDED artifacts... yeah, WTF was with that, DM? Why not just hand them Baba Yaga's Hut or all the Orbs of Dragonkind?! Way to break the f-ing game! This show sucked! Just kill him already, Tiamat! (Anyway, this is a much longer rant for another time...)

This picture was actually taken New Year's Eve at my friends' John and Terry's house, who hosted a fabulous Nerd New Year's Eve party with games and bad movies. They've done a beautiful renovation of their place all by themselves, which is both a depressing reminder and a motivation to get working on fixing up and cleaning out my family's co-op which has been sitting vacant for some time now. (Long, angry story there...) It was also shortly after this photo was taken that I took ill - about 10 minutes to midnight. Good timing.

Speaking of which, woke up still sick but showing signs of progress. Somewhat good news as I had a performance of my Godzilla rap scheduled in the evening, and also because I'm tired of feeling like crap.

But the performance at the Nerd Nite Magazine Launch party went well and the evening was very entertaining. The presentation on the rise and fall of Atari was particularly enlightening. Did you know the creator of Atari, after being forced out of the company and made to sign a non-compete, went on to found Chuck E. Cheese's? And that Steve Jobs was the 40th employee of Atari? Good stuff! Sadly, I was unable to stay and dance very long, not just because my head was whirling from all the medication, but because also because my 8-year old guest was getting sleepy. Then again, so was I, so it was good timing once again.

Picture #295: "Yup, still sick."

2012-01-05T23:20:00.003-05:00

I wonder how much longer the pencil has before it falls to technology? Will writing always be part of our primary education? If so, it's good to know that fancy eraser heads such as this little clown fish will always be a favorite amongst kids.

Erasers are great in that regard - they were one of the few toys you could legitimately just fiddle with all through class. Infinite in variety, singular in purpose. But have you SEEN what kids erasers are like these days? Little miniature foods, whole menageries of animals, robots, multi-sectioned, etc... pretty impressive stuff. (Pretty impressively high pricing, too...)

Anyway, as my little clown fish friend is telling me, I'm still sick. It's moved into the outskirts of my lungs now. Fun. Things are looking grim for my Nerd Nite performance tomorrow evening, but hope springs eternal.

Picture #294: "That's your 137th consecutive LOLCat page..."

2012-01-04T23:30:00.005-05:00

"That's your 137th consecutive LOLCat page... May I have my computer back now, please?"

Yet another in the Littlest Pet Shop series of over-priced plastic figurines. Wait, this one came with a sticker AND a scooter? Never mind, then, clearly well worth the $20...

Day 4 of Sickness 2012 started off with my feeling nominally better, only to have it move into my lungs. Fun.

It also started with the inestimable joy of having to listen to the nearly deaf neighbor blasting day-time talk shows, such as "The View" and Rachel Ray, through the walls. The audio pattern is nearly unbearable: "Uptalk-Uptalk-Uptalk-'Whoooo!'-Screeching Applause." Repeat. I need to order a pair of John Carpenter "They Live" sunglasses so that I can see the hidden messages telling our brains to rot from the inside.

I spent some of the day revisiting old websites I've always loved but hadn't seen in a while, Regretsy and IkeaHackers to be specific. Regretsy, a site dedicated to highlighting the best and worst on the handmade products online market Etsy, is, of course, an internet phenomenon, and deservedly so, as the woman who runs it, with the net moniker of "Hellen Killer" is one of the funniest people on the planet. Ikea Hackers is, perhaps, less well known and trafficked, as it has a very narrow focus (should be self-explanatory), and gets overshadowed by more generalized sites such as Apartment Therapy (which is also awesome).

Anyway, those sites are awesome. If you're sick in bed, and have a light enough fever to be able to focus on letters and the words they form, they're a good way to pass the time.

Picture #293: "Nice try, boys."

2012-01-03T22:41:00.004-05:00

Oh, these wacky monkey slippers... always trying to slip me up with classic slapstick comedy routines.

Spent the day entirely indoors, yet again, due to sickness. Got a minimal amount of work done as my foggy brain's ability to focus pretty much makes it only viable for playing basic games of Tetris... and taking photos of myself wearing monkey slippers.

Started doing some very preliminary work to prepare to perform for this Friday's Nerd Nite Magazine launch - vocal chords permitting, of course. It's sad to realize it's been nearly 3 years since I presented my Godzilla lecture at Nerd Nite and was encouraged to write a book on the subject, and have only managed to churn out a modest third of anything even resembling a tome. One of my numerous New Year's Resolutions is to work a little on this project every day, in order to rectify this particular life failure. Which I haven't - though I am giving myself a bit of a pass as simply being vertical at this point is a chore.

Picture #292: Conversations with my Toys

2012-01-02T12:12:00.003-05:00

"Are you still sick?"
"Yes."
"How sick?"
"Well, I'm having a conversation with a plastic crab."
"Yeah, that's pretty sick."

Still sick, fever, voice gone, etc... but that's okay. It's not like I have a musical performance, ballroom dance classes and a new gig recording books on tape this week or anything... oh, wait... DAMMIT!

My companion here is from the Littlest Pet Shop series of toys. It's amazing what a combination of good design and slick packaging can do for the mark-up of a bunch of injection molded plastic figurines. This same figurine appears packaged in different configurations - with a postcard, with a sticker, etc... and each one, to kids, is different! INSIDIOUS!

Picture #291: Lazy Sunday.

2012-01-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

There was a funny Facebook comment regarding this picture. Someone wrote, "I'm starting to think you live in an Etsy warehouse or something."

Good guess, but more like I know a woman with an 8-year old girl and a storage locker full of interesting, unused toys that she periodically cleans out and gives away. This giant rabbit doll is one of them. The knitting is part of a knitting kit I gave the aforementioned 8-year old for her birthday back in October. The bed... well... ;)

Spent most of the Sunday in bed... sick. New Year's Resolutions delayed.

Happy New Year! (Picture #290: I'm not ready yet.)

2011-12-31T10:09:00.000-05:00

I'm not ready for 2012, yet.

2011 was quite the year: dictators and terrorists died and fell, the geo-political landscape has changed drastically, celebrities did stuff, gay civil rights advanced and the economy actually has been slowly crawling back from the brink, despite most people's best efforts to ignore it because they were busy being "disillusioned" with Obama.

Things of great pith and moment happened this past year. But not for me.

This is not to say nothing fun or exciting happened last year. My romantic life took a major turn for the better. My social calendar was filled with fun and quirky things. I reconnected with my estranged father after a 20-year silence, not in any substantial or particularly fulfilling way, but it provided some measure of closure (as well as opening up new issues).

But in terms of moving my life forward, achieving goals I've set for myself or facing my own personal demons, 2011 was one big holding pattern for me. My own doing, I'm afraid. I've been hiding from dealing with the repercussions of bad decisions I made in 2010 and rather than dealing with my problems head-on, I've danced around them. Literally (started taking ballroom dancing classes in 2011).

And thus, I don't feel as though I'm ready for 2011 to end, as I haven't really accomplished what I set out to do for the year. It's sort of the same reason I'm a night owl - I put off going to sleep because I have the sense that I haven't finished all my appointed tasks for the day. So I end 2011 with some feeling of disquiet.

On the other hand, our society has come up with a handy little reset button known as "New Year's Resolutions." Convenient. Sort of a Yom Kippur for everyone. We can wipe our personal slates clean and head into the new year with a renewed sense of hope and vigor.

And as soon as I'm done being sick, I'll get right on that...

P.S. With Obama's signing of the Indefinite Detention Bill, I'm thinking of joining the ranks of the disillusioned...

Picture #203: "Best toy ever. Thanks, Steve."

2011-10-06T08:32:00.006-04:00

I was a PC guy.

I'd used both PC's and Apples growing up. I remember playing Temple of Asphai on my dad's Apple IIe when I was a kid, and I remember when my mother brought home the first boxy Macintosh home from her university to write her thesis; Lode Runner, good times... good, frustrating, times.

But after college, I'd pretty much had it in my head that PC's and Windows were the place for me.

"What do you MEAN there's no second mouse button?"

"What do you MEAN there's no eject button?"

"Why can't I...etc?"

Macintoshes, to my mind, were idiot boxes, for people who were afraid of hidden files and MS DOS. And once web browsing became part and parcel of having a home computer, there was no question - let's face it, Macs SUCKED at web browsing pre-Intel chip. I could never understand why they loaded pages so slowly. There was nothing an Apple could do that a PC couldn't do better.

Then Steve Jobs came back on board at Apple. Gone were the ugly tan boxes and, in their place, something... intriguing. And EXPENSIVE. So no way, Jobs, I'll stick to my functional, fast and cheap PCs. Occasionally, there'd be a bit of Mac functionality, aesthetics or software that I admired, but for the most part there was nothing a Mac could do that I couldn't find for PC. For a while, anyway. Slowly, Macs began becoming more and more robust and I found myself struggling to emulate in Windows what I could get automatically with Mac OS: Adobe Premiere pretty much did what Final Cut did, and with Audacity and about a dozen other freeware downloads I could approximate GarageBand... but not really. But it was fine, because Macs, despite their much vaunted benchmark testing, still felt slow - they still sucked at web browsing. But there was... yearning.

Then three things happened. Apple dispensed with the PPC chips and switched to Intel. Microsoft released Vista. And finally, my workhorse of a laptop, the Dell Inspiron, finally died. But even then, I still bought another PC.

My new Dell arrived, powerful, stacked, shiny, bulky, covered with packaging. And it SUCKED. I would plug this thing in while it was running and it would, inexplicably, shut down. Vista was awful, stopping me every 5 seconds to ask me a question about what I was doing, like an over-protective, religious-crackpot parent. After 10 days of this nonsense, I was done. I sent it back, and bought my first Macbook Pro. Which was promptly stolen 6 months later. But then I bought another, which I'm typing on right now.

Sure there have been problems. These late-2008 models have notoriously awful batteries (I'm on my third one now, down to 20-minutes of life, if I'm lucky), and Apple's customer service blow-off of "water damage" is one of the biggest scams in the computer industry. I've had workers at the Genius Bar actually break my computer while opening it up and then try to blame it on said water damage.

"What's that? It rained in an adjacent state? Clearly your computer has been exposed to moisture, which cancels out the Apple Care warranty."

But those morons aren't what Apple's about. Those are the kind of idiots that Steve Jobs ignored, chose to never work for, chose to walk away from, to do his own thing. There are going to be people and problems like those at every company and field, in every walk of life - the rat race, the status quo, the conventional wisdom.

And then there are the Steve Jobs of the world, who, in the words of his own ad campaign, choose to "Think different," and drag the rest, kicking and screaming, into the future.

So thanks for the lesson, Steve. I'll work on it. Rest in peace.

Picture #196: "What are you... BAD DOG!"

2011-09-29T17:21:00.002-04:00

Google "dog porn" and you will get a slew of really awful visuals. Google "dogs humping" and you will get, unsurprisingly, a bunch of dogs humping... AND this thing; The Hot Doll, the self-proclaimed first sex toy for dogs. From France. Because apparently, French dogs are just more worldly than American ones.

Or ARE they? Apparently a Brazilian company is manufacturing another toy, the Doggie Love Doll, which they claim is also the world's first dog toy.

Which came first? And more importantly, who gets to clean these toys out afterwards?

Picture #185: Rubber Duckie Tea Infuser

2011-09-17T04:07:00.001-04:00

"Rubber duckie tea infuser, you're the one.

You make tea time lots of fun!

Rubber duckie tea infuser, I'm awfully fond of you!"

There's a very dangerous store on the outskirts of Chinatown called Pearl River. It is dangerous because they have all manner of devilishly intriguing knick knacks, clothes and home furnishings. Things such as robot-shaped ice cube trays, bio-degradable bamboo dishware and... this. A floating, rubber-duckie-shaped, tea infuser.

Did I need it? No. I even told the person I was shopping with NOT to let me buy the thing. And yet, somehow, it ended up in my shopping bag. Because it was meant to be.

Halfway There/Picture 183: "Smart-assed trivia"

2011-09-14T11:49:00.001-04:00

It's weird to realize that the 90's have a Trivial Pursuit edition dedicated to them. And that it was long enough ago to be slightly arcane knowledge. It's also weird to realize that no one plays Trivial Pursuit anymore.

On a separate note, this picture marks just passing the halfway point of this little year-long Toy a Day project. The original purpose, to sort of exercise my creative muscles daily to develop self discipline in creative and other areas hasn't quite kicked in as much as I'd like it to, but I am seeing some small changes. I suppose it's like losing weight - maybe you're not dropping 5 pounds a week as though you're on some reality game show, but even if it's just a few ounces here and there, it's still progress.

Memories of September 11th, 2001

2011-09-11T12:32:00.005-04:00

It's hard to believe 10 years have passed since the planes, since we ran down 6th Avenue towards the crumbling spires, into a cloud of dust, death and despair, even when the ache in my limbs and lines in my face remind me that it's true. I find myself in South Street Seaport, in the downtown area of Manhattan, a lot these days, and when I glance down Fulton I see the "Freedom" Tower slowly, finally, rising into the sky, and it seems to me that the thing should have been completed YEARS ago, not, appallingly, still in the midst of construction 10 years later.

But here it is, and rather than allow myself to be consumed in morbid

memorials and maudlin shows of sentimentality as the 24-hour news networks, politicians and, ultimately, our enemies would have us do, I'm going to go on about my life, thankful for it and trying to make the most of it.

That said, a tribute is necessary, a moment of remembrance and a bow to the heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed to help the people of this city and country in those shocking times. There have been some touching ones, simple and poignant, and I'm glad for them. This is mine, or rather, ours:

Back in 2001, my friend and now roommate, Luke Crane, was publishing a magazine called "New York Fucking City," or "NYfC," and for that month's issue, he collected all the emails and messages from our circle of friends from that day, that we had sent out to friends and family to let them know we were okay and what was going on in the city. He also included pictures taken that day, while we went down and tried to help. And he crossed out the "F" on the cover, making it NYfC, which I've always thought was just right.

So here, in tribute to that time, is that issue. There's a lot there - my own entry starts on Page 25 - but it is what it is.

New York ~~fucking~~ City

Best wishes,

Shy

Picture #174: "Damned zombie stormtroopers..."

2011-09-07T19:50:00.004-04:00

These telescoping lightsabers came out with the re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy back in the late 90's. Aside from the awful Lucas' tweeks (e.g. Greedo shooting first, etc...), it was great seeing the original films on a big screen again, especially at the Ziegfeld here in NYC, a gorgeous old movie house, which for many years was the largest screen in NYC and by far the best sound system. And the digital restoration really did improve the movies visually in many ways. Add to that the release of what is one of the BEST TOYS EVER MADE, and it was a grand time for the Star Wars franchise.

And then Phantom Menace came out... ugh.

Midnight in Paris, Picture #151, and Rememberence of Things Past

2011-08-14T23:59:00.008-04:00

Picture #151: "... and may we always keep in mind, that the remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they wer... Wait, remind me, what the hell are you supposed to be again?"
Last night I went to see Woody Allen's latest flick, "Midnight in Paris." It's one of his best in years, and I continue to marvel at his prolific imagination and gift for whimsy. Not wanting to give anything away, as I went in knowing very little and was very happily surprised by the twists and turns the movie took, I'll just say it's a film about our perception of the past in relation to the present. The protagonist in "Midnight" romanticizes the past, relegating his present to the far back seat like an unwanted child. I'm quite the opposite, myself; I tend to take a very dim view of the past and find more hope, however unfulfilled, in the possibilities of the present and the future.

I went into the movie with a certain amount of dread. I had been to Paris for the first time in my life just over a year ago with my now ex-girlfriend, where we had what might be honestly remembered as a mixed and bittersweet experience. I was a mite leery of being reminded of that time by the setting of the movie. On top of that, this was my ex's birthday weekend, so she had already been on my mind before I decided to go see "Midnight" (in our few years together, we'd had some rather unfortunate birthday communication, or lack thereof).

Fortunately, the film was so thoroughly charming and clever that it did what movies are supposed to do; it provided an escape from the worries of the past and present, and gave me hope for the future.

Still, as the actual birthday came and went, I was left at the end of the night with a bit of melancholy. I hadn't contacted her, not wanting to disturb her on her special day, even delaying sending a gift (that I hope will give her a chuckle) until after it had passed. Things had not ended well, and no one should be reminded of such things on their birthday.

But amidst all this Francophilia and angst, I was reminded, appropriately, of a quote by Marcel Proust (an author whose works I've never been able to stomach in their long, long entirety): "Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were." As I said before, I tend to take a very stark view of the past. I'm glacially slow to forgive and have a very long memory. But that said, I am very acutely aware that I, with very few exceptions, definitely give more weight to the bad than the good in my recollection of things.

And so I thought, on her birthday, I'd toast one of the good things. She had knitted this Godzilla doll for me one Christmas years ago; I believe I actually may have blogged about it at the time. It remains one of the finest presents I've ever received, imbued with thoughtfulness and love, if perhaps not proportion. And, in fact, that lack of proportion was the source of much shared laughter and joy between us. There were lots of those moments, lots of good memories.

Does this change things between us? Not really; I still hold a lot of resentment over a number of things that went on, but that's something that aging will deal with - and after those waves of time wash over and over the rocks of my memory, I can only hope that wisdom's waters leave shiny, happy pebbles on the beach of my mind.

Anyway, go see the movie, it's a great little flick.

Utter failure.

2011-07-15T02:23:00.005-04:00

I went jogging late tonight, 10 or 11pm, which is actually a lovely time here in Astoria. Down by the water in Astoria Park the lights of the city glisten along the East River, providing a beautiful view and cool breezes along my run.

At the halfway point of my jog I ran past an attractive, young lady crouched on the ground with the contents of her purse spread out on the sidewalk, slowly putting them back into her bag. I stopped and asked if she was okay; she was dressed up in all black as if to go on a night on the town and looked as though she had had a bit to drink and a little something else. (At one point, she even pulled a small airline-sized bottle of Jack out of her bag and asked me to open it for her.) She said no and then asked if she could go running with me. I said sure, but probably not in those heels, to which she replied by promptly taking them off.

I asked again if she was okay and if she lived nearby or if I could help her get home. She again said no, that she was from Florida and had nowhere to go. Now, as this line of semi-coherent conversation was going on, she finished up putting her things in her bag and then began taking off the rest of her clothes. I gently suggested she didn't need to undress, but she ignored me, slipped off her black jeans, pulled her top off, gathered her belongings, and, in her matching blue panties and bra, started off jogging, at a surprisingly fast clip. I ran alongside.

People along the promenade stared and some made catcalls and comments. I continued trying to convince her to put her clothes back on and see if there was anyone in the city that she knew that we could contact, someplace she could stay. She wasn't particularly responsive. She seemed really intent on running, actually. And trying to keep her bra up. Unsuccessfully.

In short order the realities of jogging in underwear, bare feet and intoxicated caught up to her and she slowed to a stroll. She handed things for me to hold, some cash and some pills ("Xanax," she told me) while she re-arranged herself, but refused to get dressed again. She felt "more comfortable" that way.

A group of four motorcyclists and a car full of guys pulled up and immediately began cat calling to her. She told them she was looking for someone to give her a motorcycle ride. Emboldened, they shouted for her to join them, to jump in the car. She started to, then turned to me and asked if it was a good idea. I said I didn't think so. She then asked, "Are you going to let me sleep at your place tonight?"

At this point I hesitated. I have roommates and bringing a complete stranger, both intoxicated and probably high, into our household would be, in my mind, a violation of their safety and security, not to mention mine. I began to say this to her, to which she simply turned and hopped into the car, and the guys drove off with her, hooting and hollering, into the night.

So... utter failure on my part. I shouldn't have hesitated. I should have just said yes. I should have brought her back here, let her sober up and just stayed awake until she slept it off and was ready to find her way to her people or back home. Now this girl is possibly in danger and I had a chance to help her steer clear of that.

I'm not sorry I considered my roommates. And I realize she made choices to get herself into that situation. But I am disappointed in myself that I didn't think more quickly on my feet to come up with a safe solution for myself, the people I know and for this stranger who was balanced on the precipice. All I can do is say to myself, "Next time... be better."

It's not much consolation.

Picture #120: "Chère Mademoiselle Hannah..."

2011-07-14T04:57:00.001-04:00

"Paris, le 14 juillet 1789

Chère Mademoiselle Hannah,

Le licenciement de M. Necker a donné lieu à beaucoup de sang versé ce jour. De Launay et le prévôt des marchands de Flesselles mensonge tué dans les halls de la Bastille. Je ne peux qu'espérer que cela conduit à l'augmentation des droits de l'homme et à la fois du citoyen.

Je me languis de vous revoir. L'amour, C'est la salutation des anges aux astres.

amour,

Shyaporn"

Happy Bastille Day, everyone! These little bits are from an Hannah Montana stationary set won at Gay Monday Night Bingo, a fabulous free bingo night here in NYC emceed by drag king and queen extraordinaire Murray Hill and Linda Simpson. Better entertainment you will not find in New York. And the tchotchkes are to die for!

Where to continue...?

2011-07-07T11:51:00.004-04:00

Back in April I did the BEDA exercise (Blog Every Day in April) and it worked out nicely. It even continued, unintentionally, into May a bit, and that was lovely. I really felt my writing muscles starting to develop. Then, of course, I stopped... and got it in my head that I needed to go back and write entries for every day I missed before continuing in the here and now. Which is, of course, a ridiculous notion and a very slippery slope. So I'll just pick it up from here and back-fill a little for time-sensitive events that I wanted to write about (Gay Pride Parade, etc...)

As for the Toy a Day Picture postings which were giving me a nice structure to write around, I'm not sure about those either. The pictures are going strong, but it's now almost 2 months since I've written about one of them. We shall see.

But for now, I'm going to get back in the saddle... again.

UPDATE: I'm backdating Toy a Day photos just so I can have them line up better with when they were shot.

Picture #62: "So, they get lunch boxes, but we can't even get pants?"

2011-05-20T04:59:00.006-04:00

I've always had a fondness for the Affirmative Action Superfriends, though poor El Dorado gets excluded even from this collector's edition featuring Black Vulcan, Apache Chief and Samurai.

The depictions were often incredibly stereotypical, but at least there were depictions. Baby steps... baby steps.

Photo #61: "I told you to wipe your wheels before you come inside!"

2011-05-19T15:50:00.000-04:00

This is, of course, the MSE-6-series repair "mouse" droid from Star Wars. Obviously. And it's making a mess.

We have a pretty eclectic collection of toys here at Fortress Astoria. Most of mine are largely more current acquisitions of things I enjoy, and my roommates fill in with toys from our collectively shared Gen X childhoods past. There's no huge array of Star Wars or Transformers toys here, but there's enough from each genre of iconic toys of the 70's and 80's to make it fun.

Pictures #60:"Not so fast, spaceman..."

2011-05-18T11:14:00.001-04:00

Just as a note: I've decided to backdate my posts to when I took the shots, just so I can create a more accurate archive of my posts.

A small child of 7 outwitted me in a game of hiding this Buzz Lightyear in each other's bags and drawers. So naturally I had to seek out solace in ice cream... and ray guns.

I was a little torn using the ray gun, because it's an awesome tin toy Futurama Zapp Brannigan ray gun that really deserves to be featured in it's own shot, but it worked too well.

Picture #59: Her love was a forbidden one... but she didn't care.

2011-05-17T04:19:00.001-04:00

These toys are pretty much designed to make a kid feel adored and happy. Almost creepily so. It's like having an adorable, cuddly little stalker.

Update: Have you seen THESE?!?!

Picture #58: "Stop taking my shoes...!"

2011-05-16T03:40:00.003-04:00

What a ludicrous ship the Cloud City Two-Pod Cloud Car was... and yet we accepted it, because of the general awesomeness of Empire Strikes Back. I always thought it looked like a shoe tree, and so... here we are.

On a separate note, I'm COMPLETELY cheating on my blog dating. Granted, April is over so I'm under no BEDA (Blog Every Day in April) onus, but still... a little sad. Particularly since no one reads this thing...

Picture #57: He didn't recall the "Laser" setting from his childhood...

2011-05-15T06:34:00.000-04:00

First off, I love how this picture turned out. Not bad lighting for a clip light and a piece of spare orange/red lighting gel.

Secondly, this fire clip has served me so well over the years. It's a still from a bit of fire video effects composite footage from Detonation Films which has a large selection of free special effects clips, such as bullet hits, gunshot discharge, blood spurts, and, yes, fire and explosions. Great stuff for amateur filmmakers such as myself who are too lazy and/or cheap to buy Video Co-Pilot or learn After Effects.

Picture #56: "Quite safe."

2011-05-14T17:12:00.003-04:00

This is, of course, the Han Solo in carbonite from the Slave I toy I featured in a previous photo. Boba Fett, it seems, thought additional cold storage would be a good idea.

Thor (in 60 Seconds)

2011-05-13T16:29:00.002-04:00

Well here it is, the excuse for my dropping $20 on a rubber hammer toy with pretty lights. Want to revisit the magic of the Thor movie, or experience it for the first time? Here you go:

Here's the thing - I actually REALLY liked the movie! I thought all the necessary acts were there, they got Thor's powers and hammer use dead on, the acting was excellent, and the script was actually quite witty and amusing. Were there certain acts that could have used more fleshing out? Sure! Thor's development of humility on Earth certainly receives short shrift, and he definitely goes from being a favorite son to exiled prodigal in the blink of an eye. But overall, I thought it was a really good adaptation of what has proved for Marvel to be an extremely tricky title and character.

The 3D version, however, is utterly POINTLESS and, in fact, detracts from the movie by making certain scenes too dark to watch without straining your eyes. It also suffers from the ridiculous Disney fake 3D nonsense of looking like a ViewMaster toy from the 1950's - layered flat images do not three dimensions make. Save yourself the $5-6 bucks and go see the 2D version.

Picture #55: "Do you mind?"

2011-05-12T16:09:00.000-04:00

I don't drink, but I've always liked the sensation of drinking out of tumblers. As a kid, I would sometimes put a bunch of ice in one and pour a little cola over it and sip away, pretending I was drinking some manner of adult drink like whiskey or bourbon. So really, this is two bits of childhood come back to life. Bath toys and ginger ale in a liquor glass. Cheers.

Picture #54: Thor Hangs a Picture

2011-05-11T15:47:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I finally acquired the Hammer of Thor, a life-long ambition. For years I'd been popping into Halloween stores, only to be told that the surprising inexpensive comic book adaptation model ($20) was sold out.

Sure, I could have ordered it online, but there's a certain fun searching things out in brick and mortar shops - online shopping seems like cheating, at times. So when I saw this beauty sitting a shelf in the Disney Store in Times Square after seeing the movie on Friday night, I knew I'd succumb. Fortunately, Toys 'R Us had it for about $5 cheaper, at $20 as well.

It's actually a really well-made and pleasing toy. You can't really tell, but it's made of soft, smushy rubber, hollow inside, yet the thing still has a nice heft to it. Much less damaging than my mother's meat tenderizing hammer, and much more pleasing! It lights up and makes thunder sounds at the press of a button, and also has a dorky foam missile that can shoot out of the top, which I will never use. And aside from being too narrow in the hammer portion, it doesn't condescend to kids by being too toy-like - it looks and FEELS right. My only other complaint apart from the narrowness is the lack of a strap. No doubt a safety concern... which I shall promptly ignore by making it a strap.

Anyway, I figured since I had the intention of making a Thor summary video, I'd be saving myself the time it would take to make a hammer out of cardboard and paper. Unfortunately, that time was then taken with me running around my apartment pretending to be Thor. Eventually I did get around to cobbling together my Thor costume seen above... Which I found myself horribly tickled by.

FOR ASGARD!!!!

Picture #53: "Did you eat that whole #@*%ing thing?!?"

2011-05-10T15:16:00.000-04:00

This is my roommate Luke's awesome Galactus toy (with planet drill) that was released in the 90's, I believe. It's a great, simple, iconic adaptation of the character.

Literally the day after taking this shot, I walked into Toys 'R Us to get a Mjolnir toy I've been wanting ever since I saw it on the shelf for the Thor movie tie-ins (and really, a toy I've wanted ever since I was a kid - I remember using a meat tenderizer mallet as my makeshift Uru hammer), and when I walked into the Marvel section, low and behold I saw this!!!

It's a little bigger, has more detailing in the way of bits of Kirby-esque circuitry and whatnot, talks and comes with a Silver Surfer figure, not to mention a very nice display box. That said, I wouldn't say it's superior to the older version - just different. And it doesn't have the planet drill.

Fortunately/unfortunately, buying the Thunder God's hammer (and perhaps some Godzilla figures...) left my toy budget tapped for the month (and really, for the next several months), so I left the Devourer of Worlds on the shelf. Someone else will have to deal with his cosmic hunger...

Picture #52: It'd been years since visiting the psychedelic sock shelter, but he'd still never gotten used to being woken up like this.

2011-05-09T05:45:00.005-04:00

This is part of the collection of my friend's daughter. She has an enormous plastic bin stuffed with, well, stuffed animals. It's apparently made of socks from a certain sock company.

About my Mother

2011-05-08T23:59:00.010-04:00

If you've been reading along with the class, you know that I was recently in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA dealing with my estranged father of 20 years. And while this certainly led to a good deal of reflection on my dad's life and our relationship, it also reminded me of the choices my mother made for herself as I was growing up, which were, ultimately and for the most part, good ones.

My parents divorced when I was 5-years old, a growing trend at the time in the US but certainly more unusual for the Thai culture they both had come from. The reasons for this have been a bit fuzzy over the years, but suffice it to say neither of my parents were particularly happy in the situation and my mother made the wise decision to extricate herself from the marriage, taking me with her.

Over the next decade my mother proceeded to simultaneously work several jobs, go to school and raise me, eventually getting her Ph.D. in Child Education and Development and leaving Pittsburgh for greener pastures. In the years that followed she worked as a senior writer and researcher for Sesame Street here in NYC, where she received an Emmy. She then taught as a professor at Albright College in Reading, PA, where she founded their highly successful primary education program and, after 7 years of hard work, was promptly denied tenure for her efforts. After a rather miserable year of trying to teach in Spartansburg, South Carolina, she went on to serve as the headmaster of two prestigious international schools in Chiangmai and Phuket, Thailand, and then followed this up serving as Executive Director of the Fulbright Foundation in Bangkok. She now works for a non-profit foundation dedicated to improving education in Thailand and the region.

Don't get me wrong... my mother drives me CRAZY. For example, when I was 3, she asked me how I wanted my Big Wheel decorated for the neighborhood fair and, after I said I wanted it to be Speed Racer's Mach 5, she promptly ignored me and made it a giant crepe paper flower. This began a long run of pushing my buttons. Granted, I clearly still had a good time, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

"Evidence of the crime!"

The point is, she's traveled to more places around the world than everyone I know combined, met heads of State and celebrities and made a palpable difference in the lives of countless people. She's live a really, really full life, through good times and bad and even though she makes me face palm in almost every conversation we have, I have the utmost respect and love for her. She's pretty amazing.

So Happy Mother's Day, mom! Love, Shy.

Pictures #50 & #51: Flying and bouncing

2011-05-07T23:02:00.005-04:00

Picture #50: Just one... more... second...

Remote control hovercraft technology has come a long way since this wonderful little styrofoam device. Today at Brookstone I saw a four-rotor, wifi-operated hovertoy that was operated by an iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad app using it's accelerometer and gyroscope. And during brunch, a salt shaker with a built-in spring lid! We live in the FUTURE!

Picture #51: While not nearly as mesmerizing as it's perilous cousin Palantír, the Sparkly-Ribbon-Ballantír is somewhat entrancing in it's own right.

I only discovered afterwards that this ball, when bounced, also lights up. Sigh... missed opportunities.

Madison Square Park

2011-05-06T23:59:00.004-04:00

Every spring/summer here in New York, Madison Square Park (not to be confused with the events venue, Madison Square Garden) at 23rd and Broadway features a different outdoor, installation artist for the warmer months. Some years have been truly awe-inspiring, such as the silver tree sculptures they featured a number of years back; several beautiful, flowing tree shapes in reflective metal, gracefully wending their way skyward. Others, such as the taxi cab one artist just plunked in the middle of the park, not so much.

This year's, however, is truly astonishing and captivating. The pictures don't do it justice - if you live in NYC, you really should stop by the park and take a look. The Asiatic image, inspired by the myth of the Greek nymph Echo, takes on a photo-realistic quality despite it's elongated aspect and it almost feels as though you're looking at a computer generated projection rather than an actual sculpture. It both floats above and perfectly integrates with it's surroundings. Truly remarkable.

It's also fascinating to watch the way people interact with the sculpture. The first instinct is, of course, to stop and stare, take pictures, consider and examine the work. But very quickly, due to it's very organic nature, people begin to treat it as part of the regular landscape. It becomes shade, something to lean against, much like the ancient ruins of Rome or Mexico City, lying in the hearts of these metropolis, something to be studied but then accepted into one's everyday existence. Take a look at it both in the day and night time. Really great stuff! And like the trees, it'll be sad when it's gone.

Picture #49: "This is my favorite part!"

2011-05-05T23:59:00.000-04:00

I've always had a fondness for Winnie the Pooh toys. There's a wonderful simplicity and innocence about both the toys and the characters. Plus, an ex of mine had a wonderful, home-made Piglet doll that had some fantastic stories attached to it, and when she moved away she gifted me a lovely little Tigger doll as a stand-in. So coming across this Pooh doll in my friend's daughter's toy box, as well as this vintage edition of Winnie the Pooh, sort of made this day's photo a no-brainer.

Oh, and Happy Cinqo de Mayo everyone!

Picture #48: "I thought you said you were MARTIAN?"

2011-05-04T23:59:00.004-04:00

This Marvin the Martian figure, as well as his matching K-9 statuette, were just gifted to me by a friend who pulled them from the garbage of her building. Still with the store tags on them.

Granted, I just came back from a very pointed object lesson about the dangers of hoarding, but it still both amazes and distresses me how much we as a society produce and then just toss away.

But back to the picture - I'm quite fond of this particular pun I managed on the spot.

Picture #47: He'd never laugh at the idea of wearing a "nose condom" ever again.

2011-05-03T15:33:00.004-04:00

During my trip back to Pittsburgh, while walking down Penn Avenue in the city's downtown, an anti-abortionist was walking around handing out these little 10-11 week "preborn" fetuses, along with a little literature.

I didn't read the literature.

Picture #46: LEGO delusions of grandeur.

2011-05-02T23:59:00.003-04:00

This is a LEGO toy I made for a fantastic tabletop game called Mechaton, a fighty giant robot game using line of sight, dice and robots and obstacles made from everyone's favorite childhood modular plastic building block system. The first time we played, we only had an old box of our roommate Rick's LEGOs that had been laying around, with a hodgepodge of pieces. I was quite proud of the assortment of mechs we managed to cobble together, and this one was by far my favorite creation.

Speaking of creating, I didn't even realize it, but BEDA (Blog Every Day in April) came and went and I actually completed the task (more or less). At the same time, I've actually managed to keep up on this Toy a Day photo project, granted with varying degrees of quality and cleverness.

I can't quite tell if it's having a positive effect in other areas of my life yet, as intended. Time will tell, I suppose.

Picture #45: The line must be drawn here!

2011-05-01T23:59:00.002-04:00

I wonder/worry sometimes that people might think that I'm either a vegetarian or vegan, as I seem to have the occasional anti-dairy theme in my photos. Not even remotely true.

Sakura Doom

2011-04-30T23:59:00.000-04:00

Spring is here at last

Cherry blossoms are falling
Claritin, save me!

I wandered Saturday evening, my eyes red and puffy, my skin begging to be clawed from the bones of my skull, throat raw, looking forward to getting home and disappearing under a protective shield of running water. For I had realized, as tissue after tissue fell before my runny wrath, that the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens Sakura Matsuri Cherry Blossom festival was this weekend. And with said festivities come... pollen.

Into the great indoors with me.

Picture #44: Two late-night cravings... one pint of ice cream.

2011-04-29T23:59:00.001-04:00

Upon arriving home, I found myself in need of both sleep... and chocolate. Preferably in the form of dairy. But the polar bear had other plans...

Got in late from Pittsburgh after extracting myself from an unfortunate bit of last-minute drama, separate from my family issues. Megabus' internet access is spotty, at best, so writing and posting from the road was a bit annoying. Still, internet on a bus - we live in the future. All this to excuse my COMPLETELY cheating at BEDA and backdating this post a few hours ;)

About said family issues, I'm not entirely sure where I left things with my father. We certainly parted on good terms, but whether my reconnecting with him will have a positive effect and get him to start taking care of himself and living life, time will tell.

Picture #43: The rider locked eyes with the giant fox wolf, as blue twilight broke the stillness with the twinkling of stars.

2011-04-28T23:59:00.000-04:00

Continuing the theme of using the toys of the children of my childhood friends. Sort of a simultaneous recognition and denial of getting older. This wonderful hobbyhorse, bedroom, bandana and dog all belong to the 11-year-old daughter of a friend of mine from junior high, Rob.

Things continued to move forward with my father today. Started him on a path towards taking better care of himself, I hope. Spent a large portion of the day clearing paths through his home and trying to get his financial situation squared away. We'll see...

Picture #42: While a firm believer in collective bargaining, he found the union's demand for removal of the salary cap completely unacceptable.

2011-04-27T23:59:00.003-04:00

While in Pittsburgh, my oldest childhood friend, Mike, has been extraordinarily gracious and supportive, putting me up in his home and ferrying me back and forth to my father's house and various supply shops for necessaries, even taking me to Game 7 of the Penguins-Lightning Stanley Cup Playoffs series. (We lost... @%$^!@*!!!)

Despite the onerous reason for my visit, I've been really glad to see Michael again after all these years. I'm immensely proud of and happy for him - he has a beautiful, loving family and is doing right by his family business. His daughter (whose toys I have stolen in the dead of night for this picture) is a bright, wonderful, charming little elfin creature who was shy around me for all of 10-seconds before energetically sharing her Bernstein Bears book collection with me. His wife, also a childhood friend, is lovelier than ever and is balancing work and family with grace and aplomb. It's everything I could have wished for him and more.

It's a shame he's going to hunt me down and kill me when I post the home videos we made when we were adolescent morons...

Picture #41: Even at the Shaler Police Department, crime never sleeps... for the Batman!

2011-04-26T23:59:00.003-04:00

After arriving on the redeye bus from NYC and meeting a friend in downtown Pittsburgh for breakfast, we headed to meet with the officer from the Shaler Police Department that had contacted me. After missing our bus stop and walking several miles dragging my luggage back to the police department (through scattered thunderstorms) we finally found ourselves at the precinct waiting room where I took this picture. I can't believe I didn't take one, but there was a pamphlet entitled "Stalking: Questions and Answers."

Shortly thereafter, met with the officer and a crisis intervention team and headed out to speak to my father to see if there was anything we could do to help. It's a bit much to discuss in this forum at this time, but suffice it to say... things are not good.

Picture #40: Swimming upstream

2011-04-25T02:12:00.004-04:00

Picture #40:

"Where are you headed?"

"Going back to Pittsburgh to deal with my estranged father who I haven't had any contact with in 20 years."

"Dude, I know how you feel."

"Yeah..."

I'm writing this on the redeye Megabus from New York City to Pittsburgh... a bus from the FUTURE!

I grew up in Pittsburgh and my father still lives there. My father and I haven't spoken in nearly 20 years, since he disowned me. But last year the neighbors contacted me through an old neighbor and family friend, Mrs. Hoburg, saying that my dad had become a shut in. When the police had come to shovel him out during the blizzards of 2010, he refused to come to the door. Not really know what, if anything, I should do, I left a few messages at whatever numbers I had left that worked, but never heard from him.

Fast forward to the beginning of this April; I was contacted by a sergeant in the Pittsburgh Police Department with pretty much the same situation. Except that this time, my father had fallen in a shopping center parking lot, cut his head, but refused to be taken to the hospital. He still refuses to answer his door for any social services assistance, hasn't paid utility bills, etc...

That last one was odd because last I knew, my father, formerly a cardio-thoracic surgeon, was rather well off. I realize there have been several stock market crashes in the last 20 years, but dad was always savvy when it came to holding on to his money, so I'd be shocked if he'd somehow lost it all.

Anyway, the very kind police officer thinks he'd be more likely to answer the door for social services if a friend or family member showed up as well. I couldn't find any information for anyone else, so, hence, my trip to da 'Burgh.

So why am I going? Well, speaking to my mother, she told me that it would be the humane and compassionate thing to go and try to help him - and this is a woman to whom my father was NOT particularly nice. I figure, if she can ignore his trespasses and suggest I reach out to him, I can certainly do the same. Not for him, but just to be a decent human being.

Of course, she's not on a bus reeking of bathroom sanitizer at 3 am...

Picture #39-#36: Easter picture and a little backlog.

2011-04-24T23:59:00.000-04:00

Picture #39: The egg coloring was about to take a turn for the messy.

Picture #38: Wilbur was being taken to a special farm, way out in the country, to a loving family with a big backyard, where he could eat as much as he wanted and play all day...

Went with a friend to Jersey and grabbed their daughter's piggy bank - I'm not above stealing/borrowing children's toys and money to further my own ends - and took this shot in the car. What I love about this shot is that this drive into Jersey now is so iconically from "The Sopranos." The theme song just kept running through my head over and over.

Picture #37: "All in? Affirmative!"

Dedicated to the memory of #Elisabeth Sladen - R.I.P. #Sarah Jane Smith. Doctor Who's robot companion, K-9, in this resetting of Casino Royal.

Picture #36: Old school.

Just me and my old Atari 2600 (still works), playing a game of Mario Kart. He's gone old school to school the new school!

Move over Magnolia... EVERYTHING FROSTED!

2011-04-23T20:25:00.006-04:00

During the last decade, my compatriots and I (and a good portion of the city) began frequenting Magnolia Bakery, thanks to their crack-laden buttercream frosting cupcakes (and also, in part, due to being featured on Sex and the City). This began a somewhat ludicrous cupcake craze in the city and the rest of the country, with many a discussion on where the best cupcakes might be found in town. I never really took part too much - other than the aforementioned buttercream confection, there was never really a cupcake that I found I "craved." It's not my dessert item of choice. Give me a real piece of well-made cake/pie/mousse/souffle any day.

That said... OH MY F*CKING GOD, the cupcakes at Everything Frosted in Chinatown are AWESOME! It's a little second floor bakery, tucked away on a side-street between Mott and the Chinatown park on 105 1/2 Mosco Street.

In particular, the green tea cupcake with jasmine white chocolate frosting pictured above is SPECTACULAR! You pick a cupcake and a frosting and they customize it for you to order.

You go upstairs and it's an unassuming, clean, neat little light-green space with an open kitchen and a glass case with the cupcakes. On the other side of the room was a pastry chef taking photos of a completed Angry Birds cake!

And they give you a little stamp card that's a "Buy 5 - get 1 free" deal! (I may have immediately filled this card...)

Picture #35: The young cat was proving to be a more formidable opponent than he had initially imagined.

2011-04-22T17:55:00.000-04:00

Having friends with young children makes for any number of good toy opportunities. I posted this on my Facebook and someone asked if it was a rice cooker - if only (it's a humidifier)!

Picture #34: Some day.

2011-04-21T23:59:00.002-04:00

Oh, expanding toys, you one-trick pony of the toy world. After they've grown, they don't really have a pleasing texture to them; makes them difficult to play with and not particularly great for display. So in the protective packaging poor Curt Connors remains. Until he makes his move...

Picture #33: "Yes, I love it too, but maybe not for the Passover soup...?"

2011-04-20T20:04:00.005-04:00

I find that my love of baking powder and bacon makes me a really bad Jew. Also, my complete lack of being Jewish.

I do find seder cooking rather fascinating, in that I like the way modern Jewish cooks are determined to drag traditional Jewish cooking kicking and screaming into the realm of flavor. Mark Bittman's Epicurious.com seder menu looked very interesting and appetizing, while remaining both simple and traditional. Kosher and tasty don't have to be mutually exclusive.

On the subject of cooking for the people of the Tribe, once, while dating a Jewish girl and shopping for a Hanukah present for her, I happened across a traditional Jewish cookbook in a small boutique shop in the Village. The shop girl sidled over and sort of murmured under her breath that the food in that cookbook was rather bland. When I told her my girlfriend at the time liked bland food, she looked at me inquisitively and asked, "Why are you dating her, then?"

It would turn out to have been a very good question.

April 19, 2011: A day that will live... in video.

2011-04-19T23:40:00.003-04:00

Sorry about that, guys... completely my fault. Sarah Connor, this one's on me.

Picture #32: "Very funny, fleshbag."

2011-04-18T16:16:00.002-04:00

This, alas, is not one of my toys, but once again my roommate Rick's, who has a far superior collection of 80's sci-fi/robot toys. When he eventually dies trying to hang a fan out his window this summer, I'll be sure to surreptitiously move some down to my room before his family arrives.

This, of course, is the Autobot Transformer Blaster, designed as a counterpoint to Sound Wave, who was later destroyed and rebuilt as Sound Blaster, an odd bit of naming overlap, but who am I to question Japanese anime toy makers?

Also amusingly ironic is the fact that I'm making fun of Blaster's antiquated media format with an only slightly less antiquated media format.

Picture #31: "Yes, R2, I tried re-installing already."

2011-04-17T13:47:00.008-04:00

This is actually the top of a Pez dispenser (which I'm supposed to send to someone, but I've been dragging my heels on - sorry!). I took it with me to the opening game for the Manhattan Mayhem last night, but couldn't think of anything particularly clever to do with it, so I waited until I was home to do something not particularly clever with him in the comfort of my bedroom.

The bout was really quite good, even though my team, the Manhattan Mayhem, lost. Here they are just before the bout began:

And here, new co-manager, Endless Justin, somehow is looking directly into the camera even though I'm in the nosebleed seats.

This is just another pre-bout picture of the team. I like both how standout transfer Davey Blockit is at the ready with her coonskin cap, and the way Fisticuffs is yawning (one can only hope that, if I happen to run into her on a dark sport court, she doesn't beat me up for posting this picture...)

After the bout, we went to Juniors for their amazing combo pastrami/corned beef reuben and their world famous cheesecake. On the way, this somewhat appropriate sign, lost in the rain-filled side street.

Picture #30: "Will you knock it off already...?"

2011-04-16T05:15:00.005-04:00

Picture number 30... one month of these toy shots. I'm actually rather surprised I've kept it up. It certainly helps that they've usually been pretty easy setups. Not this one, of course. Hitting the timer and then moving into position while tied up attached to a Star Wars Snowspeeder isn't the easiest trick in the book; it takes a fair amount of futzing. Still, ultimately, I'm pretty happy with the result, so worth the 4am effort!

Pictures #28 & #29: Things I did instead of filing my taxes...

2011-04-15T04:52:00.003-04:00

Picture #28: Every garbage day with this...

Alas, this is not my toy, but my roommate's. Slave I really is quite a silly looking ship when it comes right down to it. It's a credit to how AWESOME a movie Empire Strikes Back is that we don't mind that it looks like a giant sucker fish. Also, Boba Fett's general badassiness in anticipating Solo's "float away with the rest of the garbage" ploy. Speaking of Empire, how ridiculous is it that "Serenity" beat out "Empire..." for io9's "Best Sci-Fi Movie Ever" poll? That is a classic example of user FAIL. I like Serenity and Firefly just fine, but better than Empire? Come on.

Picture #29: "Racer X!"

The live-action movie sucked, but it did result in an awesome glut of Speed Racer toy overstock at the local 99-cent stores. The models were excellent and came with detachable mechanical arms and weapons that fit on the front, sides or backs of the Matchbox-sized cars.

Racer X's "Shooting Star" car was awesome, but of course the Mach 5 is the real star of the show. I'm forced to remember, however, a time as a young kid of 3 or 4 when, for a block party, my mother was supposed to decorate my Big Wheel for me. She asked me how I wanted it to look and I told her I wanted it to look like the fabulous Mach 5!

She decorated it like a flower... Thus began a long history of my mother never listening to me.

What's that Netflix? Alien vs. Ninja? OKAY!

2011-04-14T16:53:00.004-04:00

So last night I was browsing through the new arrivals on NetFlix Instant; Toy Story 3, Hot Tub Time Machine, From Paris With Love, etc... Wait a moment, what's this? Why, hello, "Alien vs. Ninja." And goodbye, 81 minutes of my life!

This movie is wonderfully self-aware of it's ever-escalating nonsense, hitting trope after trope of both the ninja and alien/horror genres. The increasing outlandishness of each scene is great, and the final battle is worth the price of Netflix admission. I mean, look at this picture above. Giant Buddha statues... wielding katana. Because nothing captures the essence of Buddhism like a giant sword.

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to add a Netflix affiliate link to my blog and YouTube channel. If I've figured it out, and you've been thinking of joining Netflix, click on the link wherever it is on this page and join through there! Thanks!

Photo #27: "How dare you, sir? How DARE you?"

2011-04-13T13:19:00.003-04:00

The best part about this puppet is that it moos when you press a button inside the mouth. Or the worst part, depending on how many times you accidentally hit the button.

I'm not sure my joke is actually conveyed here, but I find this picture amusing nevertheless. The original idea I had was that I was out of milk and had just asked the cow for some - apparently uncivilized behavior. I think, instead, that this picture just depicts a sense of general outrage on the part of the cow watching me drink her milk.

Great... now this makes me want to reuse this puppet with me eating a burger.

Picture #26: "Some garden insects are beneficial. Others, however..."

2011-04-12T01:20:00.011-04:00

A gorgeous, 70+F degree day here in New York City yesterday provided an opportunity for some spring gardening. And pondering which insects are beneficial to have in a garden, andwhich will eat all your Energon Cubes and turn on you in an instant when it benefits them. Damn you Insecticons!

For example, I found this guy in a previous season. Horned worm. Chomps on tomato plants. Bad guy, right? Kind of. See the little white eggs hanging off him? Wasp larvae. Unfortunately I stomped him before I read further in the article I was reading. Turns out when those larvae hatched, they would have eaten not only that worm, but hunted down any other worms as well, killing them off. So, bad move on my part.

And by the way, by gardening, I mean moving rocks from one spot to another. Literally. Last fall, some drunken/high, fellow broke my water garden/fish pond by stepping/falling into it at a party my roommate threw. Charming. Ironic, as my roommate typically hates functions with people who are getting drunk and/or high.

Speaking of the roomies, I'm wondering if my roommates and I have, amongst the four of us, 365 different individual and groups of toys for me to actually complete this project? Yes, we are a collection of men-children, but 365 might be stretching it. Friends with children are certainly helping, but already I'm concerned that I won't be able to do a different toy every day. Repeating toys is an idea I've been... toying with? Mwahahahahahaaa! Nah, I'll try not to repeat.

And when did this turn into a year-long project? Oh... right now, I guess. Dammit!

Picture #25: "The Mario Kart ninjas were always the most annoying to fight." or Photoshop Sucks

2011-04-11T11:16:00.005-04:00

Fortunately, most of these DailyBooth pictures actually happen pretty quickly. I look around the apartment and a toy will both catch my eye and give me an idea for a picture. This picture was much the same, except I figured I'd draw a few fading lines in afterwards in Photoshop to convey a sense of movement. How long could that take?

Answer? FOUR HOURS. Photoshop sucks. It's lack of lay-user friendliness is incredibly frustrating.

As for the toy itself, it belongs to my roommate, a present from an ex of his; for a good long while our household was obsessed with Mario Kart, as evidenced by this shot from our first annual Mario Kart tournament (I came in second behind the roomie in question).

Pictures #22-24: Cheating at BEDA

2011-04-10T10:36:00.005-04:00

If I'm a day late for posting a daily blog during BEDA, I don't really mind backdating. Because my internal clock is really messed up, for one, so I feel as though I'm in a different time zone. Also because, it's a BLOG POST.

Picture #22: "But, remind me again... WHY are we stalking the broccoli?"

This Tigger was another present from my good friend Wendy. After she lent me her childhood Piglet doll to use in a video (and to help me sleep), I had it for a good long time, and after I finally returned it to her, she got me this Tigger to replace it; I had always been her Tigger to her Piglet anyway, what with my bounciness and her adorableness.

The broccoli is one of the things I love about gardening - when a plant weathers a brutal and long winter, survives and keeps growing (only to be destroyed shortly by the gnashing of my teeth!)

Picture #23: "Well that's a horse... of a different murder."

::yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!::

My tribute to both the cheesiness of David Caruso's CSI Miami opening lines, and the awesomeness of my friend's daughter's modular horse erasers.

Picture #24: "Someday, Zac Efron... Someday."

Once again, my friend's daughter's toy chest provides the guest star in this day's photo. I actually have never seen any of Zac Efron's "work," I only know that the poster for his movie, "Charlie St. Cloud," made me want to punch the poster for "Charlie St. Cloud."

Picture #21: "Yes, I know... you shot first."

2011-04-09T04:06:00.002-04:00

At a certain level, the corporate group think erases any sense in the toymaking executive's mind of what a child wants and appreciates. This is especially true when it comes to adding muscles to characters - a blunder often found in Halloween costumes and action figures, as seen here. The corporate toy exec is under the mistaken impression that by making Han Solo more Schwartzenegger-esque, they are somehow enhancing the heroic characteristics of that character. But what a child REALLY wants, or any fan of character toys for that matter, is an action figure that LOOKS LIKE THE CHARACTER.

The Hollywood toy executive also fails when designing a Halloween costume. For although the muscles PERHAPS make the costume closer to the character, the design failure is this: a child (or adult-child) doesn't don a costume to look more muscular, they don the costume to BECOME that character. As a kid, I didn't want a frakkin' shirt with a picture of Spiderman on it with a flimsy plastic mask, I wanted an actual Spiderman uniform!

Sigh... the wrong kids grow up to be toy makers...

Last day to vote in YouTube NextUp Contest!

2011-04-08T01:05:00.003-04:00

Hey all, it's the last day (April 8th) to vote for me in YouTube's NextUp Creator Contest! If you haven't already today, please click the link and vote one more time (or two more times, depending on your time zone...)

http://www.youtube.com/creators?x=nextup_wRa2VgSvezE

As a bit of editorial on this contest, I think this "community voting" round of judging is a bit wonky and unfair. The contest is open to YouTube Partners with under 300,000 subscribers, but how is the playing field even remotely level between a user with a few thousand subscribers, and a channel with 50k, 100k or even over 200k subscribers?

For example, there's one channel in the semi-finals with well over 220,000 subs, that's been around for less than a year, run by guys who already have the technical and special effects expertise, HD camera equipment and video making know-how to grow their subscription base. Plus, if they've managed to garner over 200k subscribers in just 11 months, they clearly don't need help. How is some kid shooting vlogs/sketches in his basement on his iSight webcam supposed to compete with that? Or even me, for that matter?

I could be imagining things, but I seem to recall the original rules stating that second round would be a combination of user votes and a third party judging panel; this would have at least balanced out the voting curve and given users with smaller viewerships a chance. (I know for a fact they changed other portions of the official rules after the contest had begun, I just don't know if the judging format was the same.) It just seems a shame that such a wonderful opportunity is being marred by inequities in the voting system.

That said, once again, GO VOTE FOR ME!

http://www.youtube.com/creators?x=nextup_wRa2VgSvezE

Picture #20: "They mostly come at night. Mostly."

2011-04-07T23:59:00.002-04:00

This photo was taken at my old family apartment. It was trashed by some deadbeat, squatting sub-letters. I've been trying to clean it to renovate it, but they spread diatomaceous earth all over the apartment in order to make it seem as though they had to have an exterminator come. Unfortunately, a real pest control operator wouldn't have poured the DE in large piles all over the room, as it's a respirator hazard when misused in that way (it's supposed to be lightly brushed on areas that won't be disturbed). As a result, I can't spend more than a few hours at a time in the apartment without a respirator. Annoying... plus they stole and wrecked a bunch of stuff.

But at least they left the Slinky...

Picture #19: "Some late night research on the family tree."

2011-04-06T20:55:00.004-04:00

Even as poor a Thai as I am, I still have a certain connection to elephants. And so, I enjoyed helping these two look up their ancestry.

As with the rest of this week, I'd love it if you could go and vote Thumbs Up for me in the YouTube NextUp competition: http://www.youtube.com/creators?x=nextup_wRa2VgSvezE

Do You Hear (that I'm a NextUp Semi-Finalist?!) VOTE FOR ME!

2011-04-05T12:32:00.000-04:00

So, I entered a video into the YouTube NextUp Creator Contest and made it into the semi-finals. Now it's on to public voting and I could use your help! Please click through and VOTE for me ONCE A DAY on the contest page at this link: http://www.youtube.com/creators?x=nextup_wRa2VgSvezE

There are 25 slots available for a $35,000 grant and 4-day creator camp at YouTube headquarters, as well as lots of support from YouTube to help grow my channel here, so it'd be a tremendous opportunity! Please tell your friends and social networks as well!

Just to confuse the issue, I made a musical video ABOUT the video I made as an entry, as well. Enjoy!

Picture #17 & #18: Found Toys

2011-04-04T12:27:00.002-04:00

This weekend's shots consisted of toys that have been acquired semi-intentionally - the Tiny Scientist is from a KinderEgg and the Catepillar is from the fabulous Gay Monday Night Bingo hosted by Drag King and Queen legends, Murray Hill and Linda Simpson.

Found toys often find their way into garbage cans and land fills. But I like it when they fill little slots and corners in an apartment, little treasures waiting to be rediscovered.

Picture #17: "The long-haired one would regret stumbling on to his fiendish plot."

Picture #18: "Soon would come the harvest... and destruction."

Picture #16: "Eat up kids, while the Protoculture's HOT!"

2011-04-03T15:35:00.004-04:00

I find myself rather tickled by this photo, not just because it uses some of my favorite toys ever (which I extracted from a box being thrown out by a friend's parents more than 20 years ago), but just because I think I accurately channeled my actual pleasure in serving food to my friends and loved ones.

But back to the toys - Robotech toys did it up right. I mean, how awesome is a toy that lets you suspend your disbelief so effectively as to believe that a transforming giant robot/plane might actually work!?

BEDA: Blog Every Day in April

2011-04-02T15:34:00.001-04:00

I suppose if I post my "Toy-a-Day" photos up on my blog every day, it'll automatically qualify me as participating in BEDA (Blog Every Day in April).

It seems to be the season of my discovering new social media networks. Just stumbled across VYou today (http://www.vyou.com/shyaporn), a cross between DailyBooth and YouTube, where you post quick vlog answers and responses to people's posted comments. I think you can post questions from Facebook and Twitter, but I haven't really explored the site yet. Still, looks like it might be a good additional creative exercise along with the DailyBooth photos to try to whip my psyche into shape.

So if you have any questions you want me to answer quickly via video format, go to VYou and ask me!

Pictures #13 & #14(15): Scrabble with Aliens and Writing with Monkey

2011-04-01T04:44:00.003-04:00

"Aliens are not particularly gracious losers."

"Clarence was having trouble with his first solo writing project..."

Picture #12: "What?" or "I read Jesus a bedtime story."

2011-03-30T04:54:00.002-04:00

I don't really have a problem with people of faith, I'm just a big fan of science. Facts. Truth. Justice. The American Way. And so on.

My response to responses to the response to Asians in the Library by UCLA girl Alexandra Wallace.

2011-03-29T10:44:00.003-04:00

Pictures #9-11 or "I appear to have taken on a photo project..."

2011-03-28T18:12:00.005-04:00

Upon discovering Daily Booth, I immediately liked the low-maintenance nature of it all. There's no real tagging, or categorization of photos, it's just people uploading whatever they want and if you happen to catch something interesting on the live stream, then it's a happy little accident rather than the result of a carefully targeted metatagging/keyword/spam bot campaign.

I also immediately found myself posting photos and now seem to have gotten into a rhythm of wanting to do one a day. I stumbled into a theme of taking pictures with the toys scattered about the house, and have now inadvertently given myself a daily photo assignment.

This is great for me - my creative and work ethic muscles are extremely atrophied, if not entirely dead - and I need something simple and consistent to slowly get them back into shape. So, I'm hoping taking a picture and writing a caption every day will be like walking a mile every evening, or doing sun salutation every morning. Theoretically, it should start to feed into my other projects and kick-start them as well.

Picture #11: "The lap dance from the Invisible Woman was quickly turning out to be a colossal waste of money."

Taking this picture (and writing this blog posting) are a good reminder of the dangers of taking on a daily photo project like this - for I'm doing this as procrastination from editing and posting a video for YouTube I shot yesterday. Still, it makes me chuckle, so, well worth it!

Picture #10: "Put me in coach!"

I actually took this shot the night before I posted it, at the Gotham Girls Roller Derby season opener up at CCNY. Originally I had hoped to take a shot of the Mark V next to the feet of a bunch of derby girls' roller skates, but that opportunity never quite materialized.

Picture #9: "Big Biiirrrrdddddd!!!!"

A friend of mine expressed confusion over this caption. I'm not sure I understand why - clearly Mecha Godzilla is about to devour Big Bird and his little friend. This clock, by the way, is probably one of the single most thoughtful gifts ever given to me, by my ex-girl and current close friend Wendy. She once heard me talking about this alarm clock I had as a child, went to various vintage toy shops and FOUND it, and gave it to me for Christmas or my birthday. Amazing.

Picture # 8: "Tetsuo! Kaneda!"

I hear they're making a live-action version of this anime classic. I imagine it will look something like this.

Picture #7: "I mistakenly purchased 'Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark - Home Edition.'"

2011-03-25T06:49:00.006-04:00

I originally purchased this web-shooter kit before Spiderman 2 came out. I had a sketch idea where I'd go into Times Square in a Venom outfit, walk up to the guy in the Spiderman outfit who hangs out there for tourist photos, facing off against him for a moment, and then just emptying the silly string "web fluid" all over him, then running away.

I'm on Daily Booth!

2011-03-23T00:18:00.004-04:00

In lieu of putting actual work into making videos, I've decided to procrastinate by joining DailyBooth. Because the excuses that I make for myself to avoid making videos are rather ineffective when it comes to taking a single photograph of myself a daily.

But go ahead and come follow me and see if I can manage to keep up the pace. http://www.dailybooth.com/shyaporn

Biggest Loser - Geography Fail

2011-03-03T00:34:00.008-05:00

I have more than a few guilty television pleasures and The Biggest Loser is one of them. On the one hand, I like to think it's one of the more constructive members of the trash-filled reality continuum, as it promotes exercise and thoughtful eating habits as a means to getting healthier, but on the other hand... it's really not.

And allow me to preface this by saying I realize reality television shows are heavily edited and staged in order to create a compelling narrative for the viewer; I have friends who work in reality TV and have heard all the stories. But there was a glaring bit of complete BS in this week's episode that held special meaning to me.

The episode featured a contestant who lives in Queens. She is shown complaining about having no place to run around her neighborhood due to traffic, streets, etc... She then goes into a subway station (Astoria Blvd station) to go to Central Park so that she has someplace to run.

Here's the thing: I live in Astoria. I use that train stop. Now, on LITERALLY the same street as that station, is a running track, a few blocks down in Astoria Park. A park which also features a beautiful water front that you can run along. I run there all the time.

In fact, from that train station, you can RUN ACROSS THE BRIDGE to Randolph's Island, through a lovely park there, and then over another bridge to Manhattan, where you can then RUN to... CENTRAL PARK.

So, I call FAIL here Biggest Loser. Get a map.

How to Make Chocolate Lava Cake (with Cayenne and Sea Salt)

2011-03-01T14:53:00.002-05:00

I just made this instructional for my birthday (March 1). I've been wanting to do a cooking video for a long time - had no idea how long it was going to take. I was up until 9am, thus ensuring that I'd sleep through the majority of my actual birthday. Me am smart brain.

I often make this recipe for people; it's always more fun to cook when there's a guest(s) involved. I certainly use Thanksgiving as an excuse to feed my friends and family. And I've always enjoyed going to the market with people for ingredients and then cooking together afterwards.

So get to know me and you'll eventually get some of this hot, chocolate, lava, cake action.

UPDATE: Whoo, hoo! I made it onto the Craftzine Blog! http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2011/03/how-to_chocolate_lava_cake.html

Ever Play "What I COULD Have Bought With That Money?"

2011-02-25T02:36:00.005-05:00

Have you ever lost a lot of money as a result of a bad investment, relationship or just good ol' criminal activity, and then played the "What if?" game regarding said losses?

Well I had run-ins with all three last year, and I just thought I'd share my own little game of "What I COULD have bought with that money" with you, my small but... well, just small group of readers.

I could have gotten:

- 1-month hiking the Appalachian Trail

- 10-day trip to Macchu Piccu

- 4-day ski-trip to Vail or Aspen

- 7-day trip to Hawaii

- 3-day trip to Las Vegas

- Macbook Pro

- iPhone 4

- 50" 3D flat screen TV

- 1-year unlimited pass for Bikram Yoga

- 1-year membership to a ritzy gym

- A year of tap dance lessons

- A year of ballroom dancing lessons

- 3 new suits

- Driving lessons

- A warm winter overcoat

- Running shoes

- A dental checkup

- Tickets to Spiderman: The Musical

I don't mean I could have gotten just one of those things - I mean ALL of those things. That entire list. Though really, I would have preferred to have used that money for this:

- Afford myself the freedom to work on my creative projects

- Get healthier in mind, body and soul

- Focus inward to gain the strength to move forward

- Tickets to Spiderman: The Musical

But instead, I made one spectacularly bad decision to not do these things and focus, instead, on a doomed relationship, which, in turn, brought some truly awful, AWFUL people into my life, who wrecked it thoroughly.

Come to think of it, this game sucks; it's so depressing! Why would I even start this?

The Cape

2011-01-13T12:23:00.006-05:00

Okay, I can't hold off on talking about this train wreck any longer. NBC's The Cape.

I mean look at what this show is about: A good cop is framed for a crime he didn't commit and left for dead, then trained in special abilities by a circus ringleader, which he uses to protect his wife and son with the hell of a special suit with super powers, while also vowing vengeance on those who wronged him, as well as cleaning up the crime and corruption in his city. A city is under siege from crime, where the police force has just been privatized by a mega-corporation.

It's actually rather impressive how many genre cliches they've managed to fit in there/rip off from other sources. I mean, look at what you've got:

- Framed for a crime he didn't commit: Count of Monte Cristo, The Fugitive, etc...
- Left for dead: Lone Ranger, High Plains Drifter, Robocop, etc...
- Trained in secret arts: The Shadow, Batman, etc...
- A powerful weapon with special abilities and a legacy: King Arthur, Green Lantern, etc...
- Vowing vengeance and seeking justice: Every superhero backstory ever. Robocop.
- Father decides to honor his son by imitating his fictional hero: Robocop...?
- City being run by a corporation: Robocop, Robocop, Robocop!

And even with all that, all of the cliches and unoriginal ideas would be fine, if the show was done well. But it's a mess! The show runners rip through the storytelling like it's a rough draft on cocaine. I'm not a big fan of excessive exposition either, but this guy gets framed for a crime he doesn't commit and left for dead within the first 3 minutes! And the first 1 1/2 minutes of that is him snuggling with his son in bed. (Who is, by the way, cast slightly too old for him to be snuggling with!)

The training sequence is perhaps the most hackneyed training montage I have ever seen. It shows him trying to master three skills: Vanishing with his cape, hand to hand combat (with a midget), and hypnosis. He tries each of these things once and fails miserably. Then they immediately show him trying each of these skills again, and he's mastered every single one of them! And again, this "scene" lasts a grand total of maybe TWO MINUTES. Absolutely awful.

In fact, later in the episode, he tries to train himself how to dodge knives by loading them into a baseball machine (don't get me started) and he fails and cuts his hand. Then, after never actually showing him improving at this, he catches a knife in the air. What? WHAT?

The whole show is like that. There's no character growth or real plot development - story points are just hurled at the camera one after another, like someone just decided to read the script aloud to the audience.

The most infuriating thing is perhaps the slightly better than mediocre reviews this thing has gotten. How can anyone believe it's even REMOTELY good? It's a groan-fest start to finish. It's a shame that, while television has achieved new heights in the past decade with shows such as The Sopranos, The Wire and most of Lost, the bottom has dropped so far with the scourge of reality television, CBS sitcoms and Jay Leno, that the average quality of narrative TV has actually lowered to the point where reviewers actually think The Cape has redeeming qualities.

Check your standards!

Stupid Heartbreak and Sickness!

2011-01-12T22:43:00.003-05:00

If you don't know or haven't been able to gather, I broke up with my girlfriend of 2+ years last week. Long story, not going to talk about the why of it all right now.

What I will talk about is how I allow my emotions to get in the way of my creativity and productivity. I'd been planning, for months, to shoot a video for Elvis' birthday on January 8th. Nothing complicated, just a simple little karaoke thing with a wig, just for fun because I happen to like Elvis and I've had one of his songs stuck in my head for months. And I forgot. I just plain forgot... because my mind, soul and body are so depressed at the moment over that breakup.

And this has happened for years. I allow my relationship drama to paralyze me, to stall me from being productive, creative and healthy. It's a pretty awful pattern. Seeking the love from others I don't seem to give to myself. I'm not sure I know how to break the cycle other than just one small step at a time.

But that first step... man...

Hey Scientists! Hurry Up and Perfect String Theory...

2011-01-12T04:02:00.006-05:00

... so I can go back in time and stop myself from ruining my life. 2010 sucked so badly it's spilling over into 2011, and will probably go right into 2012. I'm in desperate need of a do-over on the last 9 months.

I know, I've tried not to be overly emo on this blog, but it's past 4 am, snowing outside and I just can't help myself. It's both soul wrenching and rare when you can trace all your problems back to a single, regrettable decision. The trap is wasting so much more additional energy in wishing you had that choice to make over again. It's hard; it just seems so unfair that we silly humans are trapped in this linear river of time, unable to swim against the current to go back to a bit of calm water, or to follow a different stream than we did before.

Still, as I lay here, awake in the middle of the night, I can't help but close my eyes and dream of a life lived differently. The choices I made a year ago, or ten years, or even, now, twenty years ago, have led me down this seeming dead end alley I call a life. I just hope there's a light somewhere at the end of this labyrinth. And, of course, that there's not a giant bull headed monster waiting for me.

Secret Blogs...?

2011-01-03T03:28:00.004-05:00

I wonder how many secret blogs are out there? How many silent cries in the virtual dark have been started by people, alone and depressed in the middle of the night, or fed up and frustrated in a fluorescent-framed cubicle at 2:45pm, crushed by love, life and lacking?

I wonder this, as I've often used the internet as my own storm to scream at in the past. But because I now fool myself into thinking people actually follow what I occasionally scribble, I resolved last year to try to reduce the amount of emo I allow to filter out through my various bits of social networking apparatus. That said, I do still find the need to shout into the darkness, to no one in particular. There's a not so submerged part of my subconscious that perhaps sees a sort of magic in this; somehow, if I cast these stones into the water, their intent will reach those people and things that may have caused the burning need to rant in the first place.

It never happens of course, unless you're incredibly passive aggressive about posting things in plain sight. Like this post, for instance. The ex never finds your Missed Connection, your former boss never comes across your rapier-sharp Tweet, and your partners never find your Secret Blog.

And it's probably for the best. Writing on the internet can be therapeutic; like a psychiatrist's exercise cribbed from a cheap self help book; write your problems on a piece of paper and then burn it. Or post it.

Anyway, I was just wondering how many dozens, hundreds, thousands, etc... there might be out there conducting a similar ritual.

P.S. You'll never find it.

Why can't the Spiderman Musical master 40-year-old technology?

2010-12-23T00:16:00.004-05:00

Is it me, or does the Spiderman musical, currently in previews on Broadway, seem like it's being put on by a bunch of 12-year olds in their backyard with no parental supervision? Spiderman is "swinging" about attached to huge, bulky ropes and wires that are completely visible. Just this week another performer was injured, quite seriously this time, when the "safety" rope attached to his back snapped as he leapt off a bridge set into a pit below.

Wasn't flying around the theater technology pretty much mastered over 40 years ago during the Broadway production of Peter Pan?

How is it that not one, but four actors (including children) were able to be flown safely, and relatively invisibly, about the stage in 1960, but come 2010 Julie Taymor and $65 million dollars can't produce a stage visual that doesn't seem like a kid with some clothesline, a pair of Spidey underoos and a really bad idea?

Seth Green meets his future, grown-up self.

2010-12-21T00:21:00.001-05:00

Santa Streaking

2010-12-05T11:44:00.004-05:00

I know, I don't update this blog enough. Yadda, yadda and yadda. Sorry.

So I ran a mile in the cold yesterday in tight red boy shorts and Santa beard. For charity. See?

It was the first annual NYC Santa Streak, sponsored by the site Why Leave Astoria?!. Modeled on the one in Boston, basically a bunch of people got together, donated either canned food or a gently used coat, stripped down and raced along side the East River on a cold and incredibly windy day.

More pictures here.

Metrocard of the BEAST!

2010-11-21T16:59:00.002-05:00

This is really only a post that New Yorkers will find amusing.

Actually, maybe only I find this amusing.

World's Largest Jesus

2010-11-10T18:59:00.005-05:00

Last week, Poland completed and unveiled the largest statue of Jesus Christ in the world. Manned by a specially trained super force of space explorers, it will defend us from the menacing hordes of the evil King Zarkon.

Go Voltron Jesus!

The Return of Conan... to "Conan."

2010-11-09T10:02:00.006-05:00

Not having basic cable, I scrambled around the internet looking for a live stream, eventually finding one, I'm somewhat ashamed to say, thanks to Twitter.

I missed the excellent cold open (which I watched this morning), but enjoyed Conan's return to the airwaves immensely. Was it a brilliant show? Only at times, but it was certainly was a strong show throughout. The set is a little underwhelming, especially when compared to George Lopez's raucous, sprawling concert-style setup which followed, but I laughed out loud when the giant remote-control moon began moving across the panoramic background view of the Pacific ocean. Andy actually had the best two lines of the night, with his "Mayans are freaking out" line at the prop moon, and especially his comment regarding the Conan Halloween mask ("It smells like tears inside!") All in all, a really good show and enough to make me tune/stream in for more.

In reading a bit of feedback and reporting on the first show, however, I find it odd that, because he referred to the NBC debacle in several of his bits, people are accusing Conan of wallowing in self-pity, and that he should "get over it."

It was his first show. For him not to reference the transition from NBC to TBS would have been disingenuous, as well as ignoring a particularly large elephant in the room. I suspect the NBC references will drop off considerably after the first week, other than it's use as the usual late-night comedy fodder for being a 4th place network.

It is hard to imagine someone dealing with the NBC Tonight Show situation with more class, wit and grace than Conan did. He was never whiney, he was never self-pitying, and he always kept things in perspective; in fact, he actively requested people not to feel bad for him, reminding fans that he was a multi-millionaire former host of the Tonight Show, the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Those suggesting otherwise either have a short memory, or never really heard or read any of the relatively few choice words Conan had to say on the whole subject. They are, instead, attributing the media and fan furor over Leno's nonsense to O'Brien himself, when, in reality, he pretty much stayed above the fray, playing music and growing his beard.

Jury's still out on the beard, however.

G.I. Joe the Movie, or, How I've Failed to Protect my Childhood

2010-10-01T22:58:00.000-04:00